A Politically Incorrect Zone

You’ve Been Unceremoniously Dumped. Should You Go Psycho?

You’ve been seeing each other for a few months, maybe years. You’re in a committed relationship and you think things are going great. You receive a text from him, “I’ve met someone else. I want to get my things out of your place asap.”


He’s met someone else?? It’s over?! How can that be? Your thoughts race as you try to figure out who she is, try to think back  for signs this was coming.

Your heart pounds as you text him back, thinking it has to be a joke. He doesn’t respond. You try calling, only to get his voicemail. You send dozens of texts, and call dozens of times. No response.

You reach him the next day, and he explains coldly, “This isn’t working for me.” You cry and demand an explanation, demand to know who she is. He hangs up in the middle of one of your tear soaked tirades. You fill his voicemail with ever increasingly angry messages, and send a flood of  expletive laden texts.

Stop it.

The guy just dumped you. Accept it with some shred of dignity.

Did he owe you more than to break up with a text? Did he owe you some kind of detailed verbal exchange about your relationship after everything you have meant to each other? Sure. But…

Men would rather eat shards of broken glass then tell a woman it’s over in actual words.

A man wants a clean getaway, so let him have it. Why?

You can’t force someone to love you.

One of the biggest mistakes I’ve watched my girlfriends make is their inability to let go of a man. They have literally wasted years of their lives on dead or toxic relationships. They have hung in there, trying to “work things out” or gone back and forth, staying emotionally invested with men who didn’t want them. Then, after wasting all this time, effort and emotion, they discover one day the man is marrying someone else.

It’s okay if a man wants to end things. For some reason, women have gotten this bizarre idea that a man is a total a**hole if he wants to end their relationship. He isn’t. He’s human.

Don’t get angry with someone for rejecting you.

I can hear it now:  “But, Carolina, we were together for years! He can’t do this to me!!!”

Yes, he can. Just because someone was involved with you for “x” amount of time doesn’t mean he is a now an indentured boyfriend, stuck with you in a life sentence.

Here is what I did when someone broke up with me:  Nothing.

I didn’t go psycho. I didn’t call everyone he knew to boo-hoo about him. I didn’t hold it against him and plot his downfall. I had no problem with it. Why? Because it’s okay for a man to want to end things with me, for whatever reason.

Work on adopting this philosophy. Train yourself to accept being rejected gracefully. Learn to be able to let go emotionally, regardless of how much time or emotions you’ve invested. (If you have a problem with that, get counseling.) In the long run it will be in your best interest.

I mean, seriously, do you really want a collection of restraining orders?

*This advice also applies to men

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