A Politically Incorrect Zone

“Nice Guys” Should Finish Last

I’m sure these are very nice guys

Remember the post I did about Tommy Lee, and why women are hot for him? See it here.

I explained how “nice guys” are often socially clueless dorks, and that’s why women aren’t into them. This story illustrates my point:

When I was in college, there was this geek who made awkward attempts to date me. There was no way that was gonna happen. Oh, sure he was a nice guy, but he was also a super nerd.

In class Nerd would ask questions like this: “So, are we to assume that is to be in the parenthetical form?” Instead of just saying, “Hey, do we put parentheses around that shit?”

One day I was walking down the classroom building hallway when I heard someone call out my name. It was Nerd.

“Look what I’ve got!” he exclaimed excitedly, as he rushed over to me. In his hands he held a shoebox with the lid closed. He was positively ecstatic.

Breathlessly Nerd said, “I’ve been searching all over for you. I’ve got something special to share with you!”

I started to get excited thinking maybe the box contained a tiny baby bird newly hatched from an egg or he found a baby squirrel he was going to let me rescue.

His excitement was contagious. I couldn’t wait to see what darling creature was in the shoebox. He slowly and carefully pulled back the lid. As the light entered the box and I peeked inside, I couldn’t believe my eyes!

It was astonishing—astonishingly revolting. Inside, crawling with flies, were several small turds of unknown origin. (Pardon me for not knowing my shit.)

I automatically recoiled and gasped as I looked at the smelly brown clumps coated in flies. Nerd didn’t even notice my less than enthusiastic reaction.

Instead, he launched into an explanation of how the baby flies had just hatched, and how long he had been anticipating them, blah blah.

“Isn’t it amazing?” he asked proudly. He then ever so gently replaced the lid and smiled at me—as if he had presented me with something beautiful and wonderous—something fit for a Queen.

Important Dating Tip: Guys, if you hear a woman make a gasp of disgust at something you’ve done, like passing wind or Farmer Blowing—that’s where you blow your nose by plugging one nostil and let snot fly anywhere—WAKE UP! You’re turning her off.

Another Important Dating Tip: If you’re going to make a big production of presenting something to a woman, make sure it’s something sparkly, pretty or  coated in rich, dark chocolate–not flies.

Now, can you picture Tommy Lee or KennyPUA approaching a woman to present her with a box filled with turds?

I rest my case.

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