A Politically Incorrect Zone

Another Bad Date Brought to You by Match.com

He looked okay in his pic, but younger than his 35 years. A marketing exec, he was born in a foreign country. He seemed “normal” in his emails.

We meet in a casino. He recognizes me first, and walks up to introduce himself.

I am stunned by his appearance. He was so small–and I don’t mean short–I mean tiny. He looked like a little kid playing dress up in a grown up suit. To make things worse he resembled Harry Potter with his round glasses.

Panic hits as I think he’s a kid around 10 yrs old who has pulled a trick on me. Here I am in public, meeting a child off the Internet. I was expecting Chris Hansen from Dateline’s To Catch a Predator to pop up from behind a slot machine and confront me.

My  mind is a blur as a I rapidly replay everything we emailed each other. Thank God none of it was suggestive.

Then Boy-Man spoke. In a heavy middle-eastern accent he rails about how “online girls” were getting “free meals” from dating 3-4 nights a week. Obviously, he was no kid. I snap at him that I can pay for my own meals, and he calms down slightly.

Important Dating Tip: Don’t tell your date she’s using you for a meal. It kind of sucks the romance right out of the air.

Actual size of his handprint

We stand awkwardly while I consider leaving. Boy-Man apologizes and we head toward the restaurant. He puts his hand on the small of my back to guide me and I stiffen. I don’t want people thinking I’m dating one of my niece’s grade school friends.

The minute we sit down he starts ranting again. This time it’s how all the “online girls” have kids, and are looking for partners. He doesn’t want to raise someone else’s child, blah, blah.

Boy-Man wouldn’t let me get in a word in edge-wise as he raved about online dating services. Everyone is “loser” and “lazy.” (He’s the exception, of course). I guess he’s not a happy camper.

I try to come up with something that won’t start Boy-Man on another diatribe. I try diets. That leads him to proudly tell me in great detail what he eats, and how much he eats.

Important Dating Tip: Talking in detail about what you eat might be interesting to your mother, but to anyone else it’s a snoozefest.

After an unpleasant meal, I make a point of paying for my half and jump up to leave. He insists on walking me to my car.

I tell him, no thanks. He’s so puny if something were to go down, I’d end up having  to protect him.

To read my Worst Ever Nightmare Online Dating Story go here.

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