Pickup Artist “Mystery” Makes Complete Ass of Himself Trying Desperately to Get Laid

Mystery Douche

Remember “Mystery”, the pickup artist in the guy liner and swim goggles who had a TV show where he taught awkward dudes how to pick up women? He developed a system to pick up chicks called The Mystery Method. On the tv show he had his faithful wingman, “Matador” by his side to help out.

I have defended pickup artists because there’s nothing wrong with guys learning how to approach and talk to women. Guys who learn PUA techniques gain confidence, and learn how to relax and engage women in conversation. This can only be a positive thing. Think of all the missed opportunities because a guy didn’t have the nerve to approach a woman.


BUT…..A few months back, our man “Mystery” tried unsuccessfully to pick up a woman at a club. He crashed and burned so badly she posted his lame texts and the video he sent her on the Internet for all to laugh at. The video of him nodding to Nickleback singing about joining the Mile High Club while he waves around a badly rolled joint is a fine example of excellence in douchbaggery. It’s also an example of what not to do. 

Here’s how she said the Mystery evening started:


Mystery and his wingman Matador both flanked me and threw a bunch of game. So I did all the PUA stuff like negging, being alternately interested and then completely ignoring or jumping up mid convo to cut them off and change the song, kiss a friend hello, etc. Mystery asked for my number, I gave him my card, and he texted like 30 times. I wrote back a short response or two, and then he sent this video. I can’t stop watching it. It’s like next level Starbucks Drake hands.

Matador in a horrid wig
Matador in a horrid wig creepily emerges from the shadows

I was surprised to see Matador in the video whip around from the corner throwing devil horns and unsexily attempting to move his hips to the beat of the music. What was he doing back there? Jerking off? And why is he in Mystery’s dreary basement apartment this time of night? Why are they still hanging out together like that? They clearly haven’t got their own women. All that skill in picking up women and the bottom line is that they are ALONE, SINGLE and having to bromance each other.

And then there’s the truly embarrassing throw-anything-out-there-and-hope-something-sticks-and-you-get-laid texts Mystery sent her:







A smart pickup artist would use his skills to find himself the most beautiful, sweetest, smartest, kindest, funnest girl he can and land her permanently.

Those skills shouldn’t for used for jumping from vadge to vadge like a Pinball Cock. That is only going to get one loneliness, Hep C and liver cancer.

I think the clear message here is that being a pickup artist has an expiration date. There’s something pathetic about a middle-aged man nodding to a Nickleback song while waving a marijuana cigarette in the hopes of luring some young woman he met in a bar to his cheaply decorated, dungeon-like pad.

Know when it’s time to bow out gracefully.

How To Get Out of the Dreaded Friend Zone

hI was recently reading the Ask Men love advice column. A male reader had written in asking about his relationship with a female friend. He had expressed his romantic feelings to her and she had put him off by claiming she wasn’t “ready” for a long term commitment.

Then he found out she was dating some other dude.

He was understandably hurt, and confronted her about it. She had this to say:

“She said she knew it wouldn’t last long with this other guy and that she was willing to hurt him but not me, because she cared about me more. She said she didn’t want to hurt me by continuing something that she wasn’t ready for and that she didn’t want to ruin something special that we could have in the future.”

BSometerWhat complete B.S. She’s just stringing along her guy friend to keep as a girlfriend. The guy friend gets the privilege of being a shoulder to cry on, someone to pass time with when she can’t be with her boyfriend because he doesn’t want to be around her all the time, and he can change a flat tire.

Doc Lov, the advice columnist, gave a good answer, but he didn’t explain how to get out of The Friend Zone. You can read the original article here.

While my advice on how to get out of The Friend Zone is written for men, it could be applied to either gender.

How to Get out of The Friend Zone and be seen as having sex partner potential:

1)   End the friendship. If you don’t want to be thought of as a friend, then stop being one.

2)   Cut her off abruptly with no explanation. Tell her you are busy and stop returning her texts and calls. Don’t explain yourself. Women hate it when they can’t have “closure.” It will drive her nuts and she will want to talk about what’s going on. Don’t.

3)   Start dating any woman you are mildly interested in.

4)   Let your Former Female Friend (FFF) know you are dating. If you aren’t dating, make up a fake woman. Tell your FFF, “I’ve met someone,” or “I don’t have time now that I’m seeing Tiffany,” or “I don’t think Ash would be too happy if she knew I was talking to you. Gotta go, bye.”

Your FFF will probably squeal something encouraging like, “Oh, I’m so happy you found someone!” but down inside she’ll feel a stab of jealousy.

5)   This real or fake dating you are doing will have to go on for awhile, like 3-6 months, but it will reset the relationship with your FFF.

6)   Being seen as a desirable male who is actively dating changes the dynamics of your relationship with your FFF. You will no longer be viewed as the lower value male who is devotedly waiting on the sideline.

Human beings are into competition. This is why a lot of married men find that women express more interest in them when they are with their wives. A woman figures that if another woman finds a man desirable, he must have something, and that peeks her interest.

Couple having dinner7)  In the interim, read The Game by Neil Strauss. Learn from Pick Up Artists, like Social Kenny, on how to properly interact with women to make them desire you.  There are plenty of PUAs on the Internet who freely share their techniques. Trust me, these techniques work. Study the art of approaching and interacting with women like you would any subject. Gain confidence with women as you practice, practice, practice.

Confidence is key. Women are attracted to confident men.

8)   Change something major about your appearance. Get a mohawk, earrings, lose weight, work out, dress differently.

9)    After a few months of separation, when you interact with your FFF again, you will no longer be in a Friend Zone. It will be like you’re a new guy. This is because your old behavior patterns will have been disrupted.

The PUA techniques will give you a new way of interacting with her and help you know the difference between acting like “a friend” and acting like someone she’s going to want to bang. (Because that’s what it boils down to. A guy friend is simply a man a woman doesn’t want to have sex with.)

Warning:  if you go back to behaving the same old way with your FFF as you did in the past you will be re-Friend Zoned promptly.

10)   The beauty of this method is that maybe you’ll hook up with another woman and forget all about your unappreciative former female friend. You might even wonder what you saw in her. Meanwhile, she’ll be all hot for you.


Does The Mystery Method Work to Pick Up Girls? What A Woman Thinks

Remember Mystery, The Pickup Artist? He was the straight dude with the furry black top hat, feather boa and guyliner who developed a method for picking up women.

This is Mystery doing what is called “Peacocking” or, in more common terms, wearing weird ass clothes

He had a TV show for awhile, and was featured in a highly entertaining book called “The Game” by author Neil Strauss. The book chronicled the lives of pick-up artists, including Neil and Mystery, who were all living together in one house. One hilarious passage in the book involves the always whacked-out Courtney Love.

Here’s my perspective on The Mystery Method:  it would work—even on women who are approached often and are jaded to men’s come-ons.

……but, there is one thing Mystery teaches that could backfire.

It’s the “negging.” That’s the pick up artist term for when a man says something negative to a woman about her. The intent is to throw her off her pedestal, make her feel insecure, unworthy.

Like this:  “You have quite a snaggletooth there. Do your friends call you Seahag?”

Negging might intrigue young and/or insecure women, but won’t work on women who have their act together. It will have an opposite effect.

If some strange guy walked up and start insulting me, I would be appalled at the disrespect. After verbally shredding him I would walk away quickly.

“You’re not wearing THAT are you, dear?”

If I want to be criticized I’ll call my mother.