How To Attract a Man

I have come to realize from reading lists of unrealistic requirements for a man, and women’s ridiculous online dating profiles, that women don’t know jack about men.

I’m shocked since there are books about men galore, and talk shows discuss relationships ad nauseum. Somehow women aren’t getting the message. Women of all ages don’t seem to know the basics about men.

In order to attract a man, you first need to know what men find attractive.

If you know nothing else about men, know this:

A man is attracted to a woman who makes him feel desired,
makes him feel good about himself as a man. 

Strippers use this to their advantage. Men don’t go to strip clubs to just to see hot women naked. Men go to strip clubs because strippers are friendly, excited to see them. The girls smile, are playful and make the customer (the man) feel desired, even if he has to pay to get this faux interest. It’s the only place a man can go and not be shot down when he approaches a woman.

Contrast this to typical female non-stripper behavior. I have a gorgeous 26 yr old cousin. She is cold, bitchy, entitled and conceited. Her Facebook page has 125 photos of just her in various poses she thinks make her look sexy. She treats everyone with disdain. She announced one day she was going to work in the Vegas strip clubs to “make tons of” money. I told her she wouldn’t make a dime.

She thought I was crazy to say such a thing when clearly she’s a hottie. Why the customers in the Vegas clubs would be thrilled to get the privilege of seeing her topless. I explained, “You don’t offer anything special. Why would a man pay to spend time with you? Men can interact with unfriendly bitches like you in regular clubs for free.”

She blinked in silence. Evidently, no one had ever pointed out before, that despite being pretty, she’s not too desirable. Surprisingly, men are not that into her. The only types of men who are going to be attracted to her—and risk her icy rejection—are players or married. Her haughty attitude is selectively weeding those men in, and weeding out decent single guys.

This is Stefanie

I blogged about another young woman, named Stefanie, who is also blowing it with men. (See that post here. ) Stefanie wrote an open letter to “Mr. Wrong” and posted it on the Internet.  She complained about men “turning out” to be married or alcoholics. She is doing the same thing wrong my cousin is doing. Her “I’m-so-complicated-and-challenging-good-luck-dating-me” attitude is turning off the great guys, and only egomaniacs or the married are going to make a play for her.

Her other problem is that she doesn’t have a clue about men to recognize whether one is decent or not, then she blames men for her bad experiences with them.

Let’s look at my first statement about men again:

A man is attracted to a woman who makes him feel desired,
makes him feel good about himself as a man. 

The last part of this statement has to do with men being attracted to feminine women. Hetero males don’t want to be “challenged” by a woman’s “strong” personality. Men don’t want to compete with you. Men want to protect and care for you. They want soft, nurturing women. This feminine softness makes a man feel, in contrast, strong and masculine.

Think about it this way:  men are not attracted to butch lesbians.

This is not the type of woman a hetero man is attracted to

Feminist Maureen Dowd is author of  the book “Are Men Necessary?” and the phrase, “As a species is it possible that men are ever so last century?” She is not married. Dowd believes this is because men find her intelligence, her success, and her wit too daunting. That’s not the reason she’s single.

The reason is because men don’t want to be castrated. Men don’t like ball-busting, man-haters who loudly boast they don’t need a man. There is no normal hetero man on earth who wants a woman with that attitude.

The next time you go to write an online profile or put some wish-list for your future man on the Internet, stop and think about what men are attracted to.

Stop yourself from writing the demanding “I want this and I want that, and I won’t settle for anything less!!” list. Instead, write about what you bring to the table, what  you offer a man that he would want.  (Hint:  he doesn’t want a stubborn, controlling, dominating, strong, tough broad with a hard-to-figure-out personality that rivals Rubik’s cube.)

An upcoming post in our Intro to Hetero Males 101 series is: “How to Tell When A Man Is Married”

Guys, That Stripper Isn’t Your Soul-Mate

An online guy I went out with called himself “Cool Kelly”. 

“I gotta come clean. There’s one image that consistently makes me happy. That image, that one image–is your big tits.”

A former pro baseball player, he was so obnoxiously egotistical he came across like the character Kenny Powers from Eastbound and Down. He looked like him, too.

He boasted his ex-wife wrote a four page letter to Oprah suggesting that O give him an “Ex-Husband of the Year” award because he was so awesome for making those child support payments on time. Oprah’s staff must just love having to wade through that kind of crap.

He bragged about himself so much, I wasn’t sure I wanted to date him, but I thought I would give him a chance.

He turned out to be a soft-spoken, hard-working, and didn’t brag about himself in person. He said God spoke to him telling him his mission was to spread The Word. He called himself a “Crusader for Christ” and quoted from the Bible often. When I questioned one of his quotes, he smugly said that explaining it to me would be like “trying to teach Algebra to a kindergartner.”

Important Dating Tip for the Guys:  Few things make a woman less interested in having sex than being lectured about her inadequacies in regards to the Holy Bible.

After we had dinner, he suggested we go to a strip club. 

What?! I was expecting we would head to a Bible study or hand out tiny Bibles on The Strip.

We get to the club, and it turns out he’s looking for one stripper in particular. He confessed that “Princess Puppy” was his soul-mate, the love of his life. He had been supporting her for about a year when she just mysteriously disappeared ran away from him.  

Important Dating Tip:  Don’t take a woman out to a place searching for another woman. Do your stalking by yourself.

While observing a stripper spread her legs in front of us, Cool Kelly wistfully sighed. “I’ll never forget Princess. You would have liked her.”

Important Relationship Tip:  Guys, spend less time memorizing Bible quotes, watching sports, playing video games, collecting Avengers figurines, or whatever and more time getting to know actual women. That way you won’t be so easily played by them.

Here’s a big clue that she’s just not that into you: You have to go to a strip club to see her.

Read my Worst Ever Nightmare Online Dating Story here.