My WORST Nightmare Online Date from Hell Part III

The story continues as Psycho Headliner finds my address, and decides to come on over.

There he stands with an enormous bouquet of red roses.

We awkwardly chitty-chat for a moment. He wants to explain himself.

I tell him he can come in, but my two Rottweilers will be sitting with us. I warn, “Don’t make any sudden moves. I can only pull one of them off you at a time.”

We sit across the room from each other with my unfriendly Rotts not taking their eyes off him. Rotts are awesome. On the one hand: loving and loyal. On the other: dangerous menaces.

Headliner defends himself by saying he “asked a couple friends” and they said they didn’t think he is abusive or has anger issues. Well, okay, I’m convinced! Case closed.

I don’t let him get away with that.

I point out how insulting the things he says are, how negative, and cynical he is. I tell him he needs professional help.

He launches into his life story. He talks about his abusive childhood, and his drunken ex-wife.

It’s becomes clear that almost every interaction he has with anyone ends in chaos.

He goes to do volunteer work on an Indian reservation. He says something so offensive to the Native Americans they go ballistic, and they beat up him. He claims to not know what he said.

He has a druggie ex-girlfriend he leaves alone in his house. Wasted on drugs, she enters the cage of his pet jaguar. The jaguar mauls her, chews off an entire ear and swallows it. The gf is left brain-damaged. She sued, and Headliner was upset—not over her injuries–but about being held responsible.

Right in the middle of his heart-wrenching whiney confessions, he changes the subject. He asks, “When did you get your boobs done because in your profile picture you look flat chested?”


Caught off guard, I respond, “I had them done at the time it was taken. How would you be able to notice anyway from a tiny photo?”

“Oh, I blew it up and printed it out,” he answers as if this is a normal every day thing to take a woman’s profile photo, blow it up, and do a comparative analysis of her cup size when he meets her.

Important Dating Tip for the Guys:  Women don’t want you to enlarge their photos, search for body flaws with a magnifying glass, and then report your findings. M’kay?

That’s it. “It’s time for you to leave.”

He looks surprised ’cause he thought we were connecting. He has no clue how socially inappropriate he is.

“We’re cool, right? We’re friends? ” he asks as I shove him out the door.

“Yeah, but let’s not keep in touch.”

I should send him a link to this blog, and ask if he remembers me. He probably doesn’t.

Read the actual date in Part I of the story here.

Read Part II here.

My WORST Nightmare Online Date from Hell Part II

I left my last online dating story dangling with the Psycho Headliner’s voice message after our horrendous SCARY date.

In the message he purrs sweetly, “I had a really great time tonight…” and babbles on about how “cute” my dimples looked in the moonlight garish elevator light moments before he almost stabbed me.

That was a great time? Insulting his date, acting like a lunatic, causing his date to flee in fear for her life, that’s good for him?

He emails the next day proclaiming that he doesn’t think he can go an entire week without stabbing….er….seeing me.


Aren’t I the slutty ‘ho bag who picks up men/women/dogs/cats/apples/oranges in parking garages?

I email him a snippy answer about how I think he’s bizarre and abusive. I tell him I don’t want to see him again. EVER.

Naturally, he calls me right away.

Important Dating Tip for the Ladies:  Telling a man you don’t want to see or hear from him is like waving a red flag in front of a bull. They just can’t resist.

During our phone conversation it becomes apparent that Psycho Headliner has no clue what he did wrong. I have to tell him what he said to me less than 48 hrs ago. He apologizes profusely, but claims to not remember.

And it isn’t just that he “can’t” remember. He acts like there’s no way he would ever behave in such a manner as I described. (Remember, he expressed concern that I might not be able to behave properly around all his A-list celeb friends. Ya gotta love that.)

Either he had a blackout from drinking a couple watered down drinks,
or he has multiple personalities.

I tell him he needs therapy and reinterate how I don’t want him in my life. Click.

A couple nights later, I am at home watching tv. He calls. After rolling my eyes, I answer with, “What do you want?”

He explains that he is right outside my house. Since I didn’t give him my address, I’m shocked. “How do you know where I live?!”

He explains that he looked up my name in an online property search. [Thank you Clark County, for making it easy to stalk someone!]

The Psycho Headliner Split Personality Lunatic from Hell is also a creepy STALKER.

But, of course, he would be.

And there he is standing at my front door with an enormous bouquet of dozens of red roses, and a big sheepish grin on his face.

To be Continued….

For the beginning of the story go here.