Tag Archive for ‘news’
My Dog Almost Got Himself Stomped to Death By a Donkey
We live in a rural area and our property borders a cattle ranch. Ranchers keep donkeys to help protect their livestock from coyotes and wolves. Donkeys have a natural dislike for canines and they will kick and stomp them to death if they can. My Rottie Max, is still young, not a year old. I’ve… Read More ›
Jodi Arias is Going to Get Away With Murder
In case you haven’t heard, there’s a woman named Jodi Arias on trial in America for murdering her not-really-a-boyfriend-more-like-just-a-sex-partner, Travis Alexander. After finding out Travis, who wasn’t her official boyfriend, was taking another woman on a trip, Jodi stabbed him dozens of times, slashed his throat, and shot him in the head just to make… Read More ›
Which Company Sucks The Most At Customer Service?
One of my pet peeves is bad customer service. I don’t need to be treated like a queen. I just want to be able to speak to a live, preferably English speaking person, and have my issue resolved without a hassle. Coming in at #1 for bad customer service from my own experiences: Time-Warner Cable… Read More ›
Hey Lance…Guess What? We Don’t Like You Any More
Lance Armstrong finally got the ball to came clean to a tough-as-nails interviewer gentle Oprah about his use of performance enhancing drugs to win all those cycling races. He wasn’t completely honest during the interview. We could tell this because usually all his statements are lies, making it glaringly obvious when he isn’t lying. Let’s be clear… Read More ›
It’s The Kardashian Khristmas Kotex Kard!
It’s time for the annual Kardashian Klan Khristmas Kard where they are all photoshopped into it. (They are too busy leading their fab lives to pose together for the photo. Please.) This year they have outdone themselves and look like an ad for sanitary protection. Noticeably absent is Kim’s current love interchangeable black boy toy. I… Read More ›
Meth Ain’t a Beauty Product
I’ve never tried meth because, honestly, it never interested me. Looking at this collection of meth addict mug shots taken at different ages, I’m glad I haven’t. These are gruesome. If I were shown these horrible pics as a teen, I wouldn’t have gone near the stuff. (Not that I did anyway.) Without meaning to… Read More ›
The Wacky Petraeus Love Pentagon Explained
There are so many players in the unfolding soap opera of the General Petraeus sex scandal that I decided to straighten them out. It’s confusing trying to keep track of who was sending what threatening and/or lurid email to whom. It all started when General Petraeus had an affair with the biographer of his book… Read More ›
Pro-Rape Platform Doesn’t Work For Republicans
I don’t usually discuss politics on this blog, because I like my posts to be amusing. However, there were a lot of Republicans who ran on radical anti-abortion, anti-women platforms that were nothing short of bizarre. There were statements about how a woman’s body can tell if she was “legitimately raped,” reject the rapey sperm,… Read More ›
Hurricane Sandy Creates a Supermodel….
New York City resident Nana Gouvea took full advantage of Sandy’s wreckage by sexily posing amidst downed trees, destroyed cars, and wrecked buildings. Now I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking how could she do this when people have died in this hurricane; people have lost everything they own in this world. People are without power,… Read More ›
The Chinese Invent a Robotic Vagina, Hilarity Ensues
The Chinese have done it again. This time they have invented what they delicately call a hands-free “sperm extractor.” The entirely automated robot vagina can be adjusted for speed, frequency, amplitude and temperature, depending on individual user preference. It has a small screen on the top which plays “helpful” XXX films complete with headphones to help… Read More ›
Now You Can Get Preggers by a Celeb Without The Mess and Hassle of Having Sex With Him
No longer do you have to slink past security to get backstage at that rock concert, or sneak around hotel cameras when the NBA is in town. There’s a new sperm bank, called Fame Daddy that will provide you with prime grade A celebrity sperm. You can choose from titled sperm and give birth to… Read More ›
Whore Pills are Causing You to Act Slatterningly and Are Turning Men Gay
The inadvertently hilarious video “You Deserve to Know the Truth: Contraception” warns of the dangers of birth control pills. According to the video, “contracepting” is the leading cause of sluttery and gayness. (Contracepting is their made-up word they must have thought sounded more sophisticated than “birth controlling.”) Here is their reasoning behind this: “Contracepting makes… Read More ›
