controversial relationship advice

Tag Archive for ‘match.com’

This isn't most dudes

“Insatiable Genius” is a Four ScoopFree Cat Litter Box Winner

I read women’s online dating profiles to see how bad they are. Most of them are so awful I don’t see how they manage to get a single date. This 38 year old woman calls herself “Insatiable Genius”. Right away she alerts any potential dates that they are stupider than she is. This is how… Read More ›

Jake_Gyllenhaal

No Man Reached Up a Woman’s Skirt Searching for a Library Card

Since I started reading women’s online dating profiles, I  realize women are clueless about men. I’ve blogged about what men don’t want. This time I’m discussing what they do want. When you are trying to meet men through online dating, you need to sell yourself, not list your impossible-to-meet requirements. Think about it this way:… Read More ›

Royal Crown

Your Crazy Cat Lady Online Dating Profile Deserves Five ScoopFree Cat Litter Boxes

Each week I am going to review a woman’s online dating profile for her potential to end up a Crazy Cat Lady. I will evaluate how desirable a man might find her to be, how likely a man is to want to get to know her based solely on what she wrote. What these women… Read More ›

marilyn-monroe

Your Ridiculously Bad Online Profile Will Ensure You Stay Single Forever

I started reading women’s online profiles from dating websites after discovering male bloggers were mercilessly mocking them. I wanted to see for myself just how bad these profiles were. I wasn’t disappointed; they were terrible. If I was a man, I wouldn’t date any of you ladies. You all clearly have no clue about men. Ladies,… Read More ›

blowing-man

The Best Of Staked: One of My Online Dates from Hell

His profile title was “Catch of a Lifetime”. He was a doctor in his 40s.      The doctor wanted to meet at a bar that served his favorite booze:  Tata’s vodka. He raved about it, explaining in  detail it was distilled six times. (Isn’t Moonshine??) He boasted how he obtained a bottle signed by the great Tata himself. He… Read More ›

Zombie-Photo

eHarmony Thinks a Zombie is Your Perfect Match

Recently, one of my girlfriends signed up for eHarmony, and went on a date. If you’re a follower of my blog, you know I hate online dating. I think it’s a horror show, and her experience proves my point. eHarm claims to be the Number #1 relationship website. It boasts that it “takes romance and passion… Read More ›

250px-KennyPowers

Guys, That Stripper Isn’t Your Soul-Mate

An online guy I went out with called himself “Cool Kelly”.  A former pro baseball player, he was so obnoxiously egotistical he came across like the character Kenny Powers from Eastbound and Down. He looked like him, too. He boasted his ex-wife wrote a four page letter to Oprah suggesting that O give him an “Ex-Husband of the Year” award because… Read More ›

Growling Rott

My WORST Nightmare Online Date from Hell Part III

The story continues as Psycho Headliner finds my address, and decides to come on over. There he stands with an enormous bouquet of red roses. We awkwardly chitty-chat for a moment. He wants to explain himself. I tell him he can come in, but my two Rottweilers will be sitting with us. I warn, “Don’t make any sudden moves. I can… Read More ›

BLD093817

Online Dating is a Chamber of Horrors Part II

As I described in an earlier post, I signed up for a couple online dating websites, and found it to be bizarre. One guy sent me a photo where he had carefully erased all around his head, leaving it disembodied and floating in a white sea of nothinginess. I guess he felt he had to protect his ID… Read More ›

BLD093817

Online Dating is a Chamber of Horrors Part I

I tried online dating. It it was one of the oddest experiences of my life. One guy had a profile pic with his eyes sloppily scratched out in an attempt to protect his identity. He apparently didn’t know the proper thing is to put a rectangle over one’s eyes like they do in medical textbooks. (Fixed it! So much… Read More ›

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