Tag Archive for ‘comedy’
Start The New Year With Gwyneth Paltrow And Explosive Diarrhea
Actress Gwyneth Paltrow has her own website called “Goop”. She refers to it as “an eminent lifestyle publication, dedicated to informing and positively inspiring its audience.” Its purpose is to help you “save time, simplify and feel inspired” through her ridiculous suggestions about stuff you can’t possibly afford. Here are Goop’s Categories of Interest: Be, Do,… Read More ›
This Week’s Most Horrifying Things Seen on the Internet
I think I should start featuring the most horrifying things I’ve seen on the Internet each week. This first item is weird and creepy, but hey, why have calendar of boring, hot babes in bikinis when you can have this? It’s a calender of dental mannequins dressed in clothes and put in normal situations. And… Read More ›
Gift Ideas For The People You Loathe 2012
Yes, it’s that time of year again. Time to buy gifts for those you couldn’t care less about. Maybe you’re the Secret Santa for a drunken uncle or back-stabbing co-worker. Show them just how much you don’t care with one of these lovely gifts. 1) Anything from Etsy.com – Etsy is a website where people… Read More ›
“Diz and Lick” – My Review of Lindsay Lohan’s Comeback Movie
Dick and Liz aka Diz and Lick, starring Lindsay Lohan premiered Sunday. It is the story of the tumultuous love affair between Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton. They were both married when they met and fell in love during the filming of Cleopatra in 1963. Diz and Lick has plenty of screaming, pouting, sighing, boozing, bad acting, and… Read More ›
Nothing Brings Out Your Cheekbones Like A Horrendous Disaster
New York City resident Nana Gouvea took full advantage of Sandy’s wreckage by sexily posing amidst downed trees, destroyed cars, and wrecked buildings. Now I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking how could she do this when people have died in this hurricane; people have lost everything they own in this world. People are without power,… Read More ›
The Chinese Invent a Robotic Vagina, Hilarity Ensues
The Chinese have done it again. This time they have invented what they delicately call a hands-free “sperm extractor.” The entirely automated robot vagina can be adjusted for speed, frequency, amplitude and temperature, depending on individual user preference. It has a small screen on the top which plays “helpful” XXX films complete with headphones to help… Read More ›
Whore Pills are Causing You to Act Slatterningly and Are Turning Men Gay
The inadvertently hilarious video “You Deserve to Know the Truth: Contraception” warns of the dangers of birth control pills. According to the video, “contracepting” is the leading cause of sluttery and gayness. (Contracepting is their made-up word they must have thought sounded more sophisticated than “birth controlling.”) Here is their reasoning behind this: “Contracepting makes… Read More ›
The Man Translator: What He’s Really Thinking
Men and women think so differently it’s no wonder we have constant miscommunication. We truly speak a different language. What’s needed is some kind of translator, like Google has for foreign languages, so I’ve created The Man Translator. It takes what a woman says and translates it to what he hears her saying with his… Read More ›
The Wacky Customers of Walmart Celebrate 50 Years of Pantlessness and Butt Cleavage
Walmart is 50 years old now, and what does that mean? Fifty glorious years of The People of Walmart! For some reason, Walmart customers are the wackiest people with their bizarre automobiles, freaky clothes, missing pants, major butt cleavage, and exotic pets they drag to the store. In case you didn’t know, there’s an entire… Read More ›
Living In The Zombie Apocalypse
The CDC wants you to be prepared for the upcoming zombie apocalypse, which is almost upon us. Their explanation for using zombies is to ”spice up our general preparedness message.” (Because tornadoes and earthquakes aren’t sexy. Zombies are.) Once the zombies have arrived in your area, what… Read More ›
And We Have Another Future Crazy Cat Lady…
I don’t understand why women are putting their requirements for a man on the Internet. Shouldn’t this be a private, secret list you tuck away in your lingerie drawer? What men do they think are reading these requirements? Do they actually think amazing guys are surfing the web, reading the demands, becoming entranced, and then are… Read More ›
It’s Time for Some Dog Shaming
The internet trend of dog shaming cracks me up. In case you don’t know what that is, it’s where people take pictures of their dogs with signs describing an infraction the dog has committed. One time I was babysitting a friend’s German Shepard. He usually stayed outside in a dog house. The weather was supposed… Read More ›
