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Tom Cruise wants to eat you

Finding Mr. Right in the Zombie Apocalypse

October 8, 2015

Since the Zombie Apocalypse is upon us, we ladies must re-evaluate what to look for in a Mr. Right. You want to be partnered with the best man possible when zombies attack. According to a 2009 University of Ottawa analysis, an outbreak of even slow zombies like those staggering around in Night of the Living Dead … Read More ›

Nana Gouvea Meme1

Showcase Your Modeling Talents During a Natural Disaster

Why let a good disaster go to waste? NY City resident Nana Gouvea took full advantage of Hurricane Sandy’s wreckage by sexily posing amidst downed trees, destroyed cars, and wrecked buildings. Now I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking how could she do this when people have died in this hurricane; people have lost everything they… Read More ›

sperm extractor

The Chinese Invent a Robotic Vagina, Hilarity Ensues

The Chinese have done it again. This time they have invented what they delicately call a hands-free “sperm extractor.”  The entirely automated robot vagina can be adjusted for speed, frequency, amplitude and temperature, depending on individual user preference. It has a small screen on the top which plays “helpful” XXX films complete with headphones to help… Read More ›

This hussy is dressing and acting immodestly

Whore Pills are Causing You to Act Slatterningly and Are Turning Men Gay

The inadvertently hilarious video “You Deserve to Know the Truth: Contraception” warns of the dangers of birth control pills. According to the video, “contracepting” is the leading cause of sluttery and gayness. (Contracepting is their made-up word they must have thought sounded more sophisticated than “birth controlling.”) Here is their reasoning behind this: “Contracepting makes… Read More ›


Living In The Zombie Apocalypse

The CDC wants you to be prepared for the upcoming zombie apocalypse, which is almost upon us. Their explanation for using zombies is to “spice up our general preparedness message.” (Because tornadoes and earthquakes aren’t sexy. Zombies are.)             Once the zombies have arrived in your area, what should you do? Forget… Read More ›

Steak Potato Chips

Lay’s Potato Chip Contest Produces Some Truly Gag Inducing Flavors

Lay’s Potato chip has a contest running right now for a brand new flavor. The prize: $1,000,000. This has brought everyone out of the woodwork with their crazy, not-well-thought-out ideas. Along with the usual bacon-cheddar-guacamole-jalapeno-taco-pizza entries there were some that were way out there. Keep in mind these are supposed to be potato chip flavors…. Read More ›


The Best Of Staked: One of My Online Dates from Hell

His profile title was “Catch of a Lifetime”. He was a doctor in his 40s.      The doctor wanted to meet at a bar that served his favorite booze:  Tata’s vodka. He raved about it, explaining in  detail it was distilled six times. (Isn’t Moonshine??) He boasted how he obtained a bottle signed by the great Tata himself. He… Read More ›

the borg cube

You’re Just Part of the Pussy Collective

I got involved with a player against my better judgment. I first observed him drunkenly stagger out of a bar with a girl he had just met. He took her home, and one-night standed her—then never called. He did that sort of thing routinely. He chased me until I went out with him.  He was… Read More ›

Sex Photo1

From Your Balls to Her Heart

Recently, I became aware of the love-making technique called Karezza. The word is Italian for caress. Karezza is defined as a “spiritual way of having sex.” It’s not new age-y even though it sounds like it. With Karezza, neither partner has sex with the intent to achieve orgasm. There is no happy ending. It’s described as the… Read More ›

Naked young couple in bed

Men’s Health Magazine Ensures You Never Get Laid Again

Men’s Health magazine is chock-full of tips on how to seduce a woman, give her a better orgasm, etc. While some of their advice is okay, some of it is the wackiest, worst advice for men I’ve ever read. Here’s an example: “If you’re out in public but want to make your intentions clear, slowly and… Read More ›


A Whole Lot of Crazy Goin’ On: John Edwards and Rielle Hunter

I read Rielle Hunter’s book What Really Happened. It should have been titled What Just Happened? It’s ironic that Rielle, who identifies herself as a “spirtual truth seeker” is involved with the biggest lyin’ ass. Ever. Presidential wanna-be John Edwards takes lying to a whole new level. We should all be ashamed looking back over the paltry… Read More ›

Even this nice young man just wants to bone this nice young woman

He Doesn’t Want to be Your Effing Friend!!

Here’s the deal with the “friend” thing. Guys, no matter their age, don’t need or want friends who are females. They have their guy friends to hang out with, play sports, watch the game. And guys prefer their guy friends for most activities. It can happen, where you have a genuine male friend (with no… Read More ›

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