Lindsay Lohan is once again in the news. Not for the usual screamfest with her latest boyfriend or girlfriend nor for flashing her coochie in public—this time it’s to make an announcement.
She’s back from a trip to Turkey. I know what you’re thinking—she went there for the cheaper drugs and best hash in the world, but you’re wrong.
Lindsay has been “working” with Syrians in refugee camps. It wasn’t easy. First, she had to come to her senses and realize she wasn’t in a bar. Then she had to fend off refugees in “sexual emergencies” and dodge the Female Genital Mutilation tent in order to pass out energy drinks. It was Red Bull for Refugees so they can stay vigilant and avoid being singled out for beheadings or floggings. Thank Allah Lindsay was there to help.
LiLo was deeply moved by her experience. She has decided to convert to Islam, changing from her previously held belief in Marlboros and hair extensions.
Lindsay claims she’s been “studying the Quran” for a while and finds it “peaceful”. She must have read the “Quran for Drug-addled Western Skanks” rather than the actual Quran.
‘Cause the real Quran promotes men beating, raping and Honor Killing their wives and commands Muslims to smite the necks of non-believers. Islam promotes martyrdom with promises of paradise to any who lose their lives killing non-believers for Allah. And remember the fatwa (call for death) put on Salmon Rushdie for writing a book? Death, that’s the punishment for saying anything bad about Mohammad. So peaceful.
While there, Linds met with Turkish President Erdogan, whom she describes as having “a big heart”. Note to Lindsay: Erdogan is trying to turn the-used-to-be-secular Turkey into an Islamic Pit of Hell.
What was she, this has-been actress best known for being a trainwreck, doing meeting with a head of state?? In fairness, maybe she was sent by the CIA to assassinate Erdogan by giving him the antibiotic resistant strain of gonorrhea.
Lindsay claims she was afraid of traveling back to NYC because of her interest in Islam. She was worried she might encounter Islamophobia for her Muslim beliefs. Uhm…you aren’t a Muslim, Lindsay, you aren’t even close.
Let’s look at real women living under Sharia. Let’s see the “peace” Islam gives to them. I can’t even post many photos of women under Sharia they are too gruesome.
These heinous acts against women aren’t being done just by “radical” Islamists or terrorists. These acts are being carried out every single day by ordinary Muslims in Islamic countries.
You get the idea.
Note to readers: I’m nailing Lindsay because I can’t take these liberal western women promoting Islam. Islam is a backwards, barbaric ideology that isn’t about freedom, equality or human rights. It is especially horrific in its treatment of women. Any western woman promoting Islam deserves to be absolutely shredded.
UPDATE: Lindsay poses in a burkini.