controversial relationship advice

And We Have a Four ScoopFree Cat Litter Box Winner Here!

This week, my ScoopFree Cat Litter Box review is of a blog post. In case you’re new to this, each week I review a truly awful online dating profile or a Man Wish List. I then award it with the number of ScoopFree Litter boxes from 1-5 that the potential Crazy Cat Lady will be needing in her ManFree future.

She decided that after flocks of men on OKCupid overwhelmed her with their desire for her “boobies” she would try a different approach.

I’m not sure how many of you are aware but ……is single again and on the prowl.

I’m taking applications.

Now Hiring at …… Incorporated!

Position to be filled: Boyfriend

Position vacated: August 13, 2012

Requirements:

Day job (not as boyfriend, husband or gigolo)

Car (2009 or newer)

House (no roommates, kids don’t count)

Children OK but no psycho ex-wives

Adventure seeking, vodka drinking, affable and outgoing

Handsome (in my opinion)

Brains (mmmm, yummy, brains)

A sense of humor (if you can’t laugh at life, I have no use for you)

Please submit resume along with a photo and drink invitation (you are buying, buddy), to apply for a face to face interview. VEGANS NEED NOT APPLY! Anyone under the age of 33, I do not need to hear how age is just a number and you are so mature and don’t get along with women your age. I know damn well why you are cougar hunting and I just have to say, if I’m the cougar, I get to choose my prey.

Review:  This is a single woman with kids.

Now she may be joking with this whole application thing, but it doesn’t come across like that when she insists the applicant has to buy her drinks while she mulls over during their “interview” whether he’s good enough for the “job.”

This application is not romantic or enticing. She says she doesn’t want a gigolo, but what does she think she’s asking for with an application for the position of boyfriend?

Any man who would respond to this “application” is going to be suspect, a con artist, or some real creeper. 

Rating:  This deserves Four ScoopFree Cat Litter Boxes. The only reason she didn’t give a Five rating is because she can cook. There might be one decent man out there who would consider her because of that. Men love a woman who cooks.

To see the entire Litter Box rating system and read the first ScoopFree Cat Litter Box review go here.

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142 Responses »

  1. From everything i’ve read here..

    pinkagendist FTW.

  2. I’ll say one more thing and then drop it. I think most men are DECENT. I think most women are DECENT. I think men do want to share their lives and thoughts and days and nights with women as much as women do with men. I think it’s also denigrating to men to suggest that there are so few DECENT men out there and the rest are knuckle draggers with hard-ons. I have greater faith in humans of both sexes.

    • Of course there are far more decent men than indecent, and we’re not attracted to women who see us simply as accessories or perhaps as servants who should feel lucky and grateful for the glorious opportunity to work for them.

    • Where did I say there were “few” great guys out there? And my gfs would beg to differ with you about how most men are decent.

      My two best girlfriends have both been with men who beat them, and I don’t mean pushed or shoved, I mean full on beatings. One of them was pregnant at the time and had to get a restraining order to keep her man away. So it’s naive to think all men out there are “decent.”

      • I said most. I have read your blogs about your friends who made disastrous choices in men. Happily I don’t have one friend who has been with a man who hit her, ever. Most men, most people are decent. Decent is the word you chose and that is what I am addressing.

    • That’s an interesting form of reductionism. Reality check: Women earn 20% less than men (and the disparity is growing). The type of females portrayed in the media is increasingly monolithic (have a look at the Fox news anchors, they all look like they’re related). The big stars of our time are Kardashians, Paris Hilton and their derivatives. Not Simone de Bueavoir or Nikki de Saint Phalle. Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose. The denial of differences between sexes and biological/sociological differences, well intentioned as it may be, is inaccurate and anti-scientific.
      The concept of ‘decency’ varies too greatly to be properly analyzed. If you’d like to define yours in detail we can get into that.

      • Did I say there is no difference between men and women? I have never thought that and I don’t know where you got that unless you are talking to someone other than me. In which case, nevermind.

        CC used the word DECENT not me.

        • You implied, quite clearly, that most men behave according to your definition of ‘decent’. I gave my reasons for why I do not believe that holds true and am asking for your clarification of your definition of decent. I am certainly speaking to you.
          We have record numbers of unwed mothers. A rape epidemic in Africa. A media that is progressively more focused on certain female stereotypes. How does that support your theory of decency?

          • OK.
            My definition of decent is not that complex. A decent person is one who is civil to others, loves and cares for friends and family, smart, not violent, polite, funny, friendly, etc…

            As for the unwed mothers and I think CC would agree with me. Don’t screw some guy without protection, get knocked up and then cry about being an unwed mother. Women are responsible for whether or not they are pregnant. I can’t speak to Africa. I don’t live there and I never plan on going there.

            • Maggie,

              I did use the word, but you said “most men are decent.” I don’t know what the percentage is of decent/loser men, but from my gfs, I’d say losers outrank the winners.

              But then, it may be that my gfs are weeding in losers by behaving in ways that turn off guys who are “decent.” It took me years to figure out they were doing this.

              I need to define what I think decent is.

              I don’t even want to talk about unwed mothers here, but it would be a lively discussion for another time.

            • Okay, let’s start at the beginning. First I have to point out how puerile and borderline ridiculous the mob mentality you and your clique have engaged in is. At no point were matters of ideology discussed. You simply dropped in with the ‘don’t talk about my friend because she’s so nice’ line as if you were a teenage cheerleader. Or, a member of a Puerto Rican girl gang.
              Secondly, as self important as you all may feel, no one needs your approval or permission to behave as they choose and write what they choose.
              Thirdly, this ‘I can’t speak to Africa. I don’t live there and I never plan on going there.’ that you used is flippant, disrespectful and thoroughly indecent, Madam. You should be ashamed of yourself. I don’t expect that anyone with a shred of civility and human compassion would ever dare utter those words.
              In conclusion, this show, you and others have performed here is a farce. Perhaps the result of a lack of education, perhaps the result of a lack of humour, perhaps simply mediocre, ego-centric minds group-thinking. Whatever it was, it was rather pathetic.

              • No, Carolina doesn’t need my approval but I still think her post was mean-spirited and ugly. And she knows why I was so taken aback by it. I am not self-important. You don’t know me and until you do, you may want to refrain from telling me how I feel.

                I knew the Africa comment would set you off. Africa isn’t my problem. There’s plenty to worry about here in the U.S. I don’t need to save the world. I work to improve the small corners of it that I can. I am civil and compassionate, once again, you don’t know me. You have no idea what I do with my spare time, who I reach out to, who I work to help, who I donate time and money to. So please don’t give me your condescending, imperious insights into my character.

                I have many friends and I work to be a good friend. Speaking up on behalf of friends, I think, is something to be admired not ridiculed. Perhaps you treat your friends differently.

                • Your commentary is utterly self-important. What you said below about ‘the spirit’ of wordpress is ridiculous. Who in the world made you the wordpress monitor? Or the morality monitor, for that matter. Look around and you’ll find there are Christian dominionists, pro-jihadi, anti-gay- basically anti-everything. Yet, your concern is that someone made fun of an online dating form.

                  Not only is your commentary self-important, but this little show your ‘posse’ mounted here was utterly and undeniably self-important. You’re all much too involved in this circle jerk of praising each other and pinning your value to what other people say about/to you in these cliques. That’s why when anything questions that, it all comes tumbling down like a house of cards. Oh my, someone made fun of dating profile, stop the clocks. Forget war, forget hunger, forget inequality. The ego of a middle aged woman is at stake. Why don’t you photoshop a ‘blog award’ and hand it out to those who were distressed by the debacle. Then you can all go on calling each other brilliant and pretending you’re not as mediocre and egotistical as your commentary suggest.

                • I agree with Pinky. You aren’t the wordpress monitor, and you certainly aren’t mine.

                  And for you to comment on Kim’s website that you thought my blog post was the “ugliest thing” you’ve ever seen on wordpress shows you don’t get around much.

                  There’s plenty of horrendous stuff on the internet and on wordpress. (Maybe you should check out some of the bondage websites.) What I did was nothing.

                  You’re misguided. Unless you personally know Kim in real life, you don’t know her. She isn’t your “friend.” She’s an online acquaintance.

                  • I just read through the comments on the website in question, and it’s so filled with sycophancy that I almost vomited. Every single post is licking her ass, and her every response is all “yay, love you too” right back.

                    I kind of wonder why there’s no dissension at all. Does she moderate her comments and allow only the flattering one’s through? She keeps bragging about how she’s gaining followers and you’re losing them. Even if that were true (which I doubt), the way I see it, quality is better than quantity, and I’d rather hang out in a small group of people with contrary opinions and the courage and strength to talk them out rationally than a crowd full of groupthink sycophants who get butthurt at every disagreement.
                    <3

                    For the record, I'm not going anywhere :P

                    • This particular post was so popular that I have actually gained followers. Not that it matters. After you reach a certain number, who cares?

                      I’m glad you’re not going anywhere. Your comments are priceless.

                    • I agree. It’s like they validate each others ‘feelings’ completely oblivious to the nature of their own actions.

                      One big group hug circle jerk of telling each other how fabulous they are.

                      I’m sure she moderates. I haven’t come across many sites that don’t. I’ve had many well thought out, bite my own tongue comments never see the light of day on many an empowered / feminist run website because any thought or idea against the norm cannot be given a chance to be reflected over.

                      Ideas are dangerous. Critical thought is dangerous.

      • CC’s words: There might be one decent man out there who would consider her because of that.

  3. Carolina critiqued the woman’s dating application, not the woman herself. Big difference. Moreover, the previously made point stands: Post something on the Internet and be ready to hear differing opinions about it.

    Also, the “humor” of the piece didn’t get through one bit. It sounded too much like other dating “applications” I’ve seen on Plenty of Fish and OkCupid to register as humor or satire.

  4. OK so here goes. After hours at work fuming about this post I have a few things to say. First, I am 40. In the last 25 years I have been single for precisely 7 months. I do not have trouble finding or keeping a man. I was married for 20 years and have three awesome kids as a result. I do not get child support or alimony and split my kids 50/50 with my ex. We co-parent as much as possible. I recently went through a break up that sent me into a bit of a downward spiral as I loved Russell very much. He was 30 and I know I was taking away from all the 25 year olds out there but guess what? In my experience very intelligent men prefer older women. We know what we want and what we won’t put up with. We split up because blending a family is difficult and neither of us felt willing to make any more compromises.

    I pay my rent, car and other expenses all by myself. My desire to have a man that can do the same for himself is apparently too much to ask according to you. Honey, that isn’t my profile on the dating site. I’m tempted to send you a link but if you are so inclined check out yogamommasd on OKCupid. Then you can go ahead and criticize what I’m about. Sure I want the man to buy the first drink. Maybe I’m a bit old fashioned. But let me tell you I don’t have any trouble finding a man. I find beating them off with a stick much more how my life is going. I’ve been single again for less than three months and I have dated quality men. I just found it amusing that I was being hit up by 20 somethings for sex and even dating. I’m not really sure what they think they have to offer me.

    I’m terribly sorry if I came across as a demanding bitch. I’m not. The entire post was satire and if any of you dickheads (excluding my blogging family who I appreciate so much for coming to my defense) took the time to read back through my blog you would find that I mostly poke fun at myself and the things in life that make my head spin.

    It’s a bit dummies! Think Martha Stewart meets John Stewart and maybe you will understand.

    What hurts is that you did no research and only posted the application portion. I was not at all serious. I would never look for a mate through my blog. And let me tell you that I’ve had plenty of offers prior to posting that.

    I’m glad you enjoy jumping on band wagons and I’m dying to read your book. Maybe you should send me a signed copy. And then you and I can talk about what it means to be a stand up human being and not a total twat.

    xoxo

    TWTG

    • Hello Carolina,

      I am admittedly a blogging novice. I am absolutely not aware of what is & is not accepted practice. However before I wrote THIS I read everything I could about you & also your posts and their subsequent comments before making an opinion in regards to your character. You chose to denigrate & JUDGE my best friend of 12 years. I may not know much about blogging practices but I do know Kim. I am appalled that you’ve chosen to “attempt” to belittle & insult such a wonderful, kind, intelligent woman. She’s funny,sweet, beautiful goods lord she’s fuckin awesome. And take it from me, a very close friend who’s been her wing woman as she’s
      been mine; Kim has to beat them off with a stick. Apparently Texas is where 45+ women unfortunately are unable to attract fellows

      • Grrr…cut me off. Unable to attract gentlemen with sheer personality, intelligence & dare I say “boobies” (real & fabulous). It is unfortunate that you who seemingly is attractive, witty & intelligent(meh, you insulted my BFF..can’t stand you but tried to) have experienced either yourself or vicariously experienced through your “legions of fans” that have asked for your advice. I don’t recall Kim asking you for your advice nor asking you to expound on her satirical faux dating application. No bitch, she wasn’t “happy” you decided to choose today to attack a fellow blogger & woman. She is classy enough to joke about it. I hope you noticed that she did not try & verbally spar with you via this forum. How dare you call yourself a feminist! And I’ve tried not to curse at you because I am aware that it only lowers myself to a baser level but wow! Lady you have been verbally abusive to a wonderful woman, mother, friend, sister and daughter. I realize that most of those that have defended her don’t “know” her but trust and believe I know her..good, bad, whatever. Obviously no one is perfect but sheesh chick before you use your God given(yep I believe)/American right of expressing your opinion just TRY and investigate to see if your posts & suppositions are indeed accurate. I understand you are not a reporter and are able to enjoy the freedom of speech that being an American entitles you, but please don’t couch your judgmental vilification as acceptable behavior. There is NEVER a good reason to talk shit about people you have not tried to understand. Maybe in the world you’ve experienced this is how a classy, intelligent woman behaves but not in mine nor in Kim’s. We live in one of the most superficial areas in America..southern CA. Kim is completely natural & can “compete” with any 25 year old. I’ve seen her in action, SHE should be training woman how to get a man..whomever, whatever type of man they want. And NO she’s not delusional about her “attributes” personality or any other aspect of her character. She knows who she is, what she wants and how to get it. YOU are delusional, rude & have shown your lack of character by this post. I found most of your posts amusing and I at least tried to understand you by all that you have written on this wondrous world wide web. I will of course admit that because you have chosen to display your Scorn of my dearest friend I am understandably quite angry. However I tried to get to know your “voice” or “style” first before passing judgement upon you. Feel free to continue this discussion at your leisure, I’ve got the time.

        Kari

        • Do you realize your comment comes off as the rant of an angry 16 year old girl? I’m terribly sorry but the laws of science and mathematics cannot be suspended because someone is your friend or you think she’s lovely.
          Dating gets harder as time goes by. Faces and bodies sag. There are always people who are younger, better educated, prettier or wealthier just around the corner. Your friend may be lovely but I can assure you there’s a 25 year old out there who can beat her in every single one of the categories I mentioned. More than one. That’s the nature of life, not a personal attack.

      • I made no judgments about her personally, said nothing about looks, etc, just her application. And she might be a great person. It doesn’t change that her–again–application isn’t going to get her a QUALITY man.

        That’s the point here.

    • Just out of curiosity… If what you do is satire- and what Carolina does is generally satire too, why in the world are you bothered by it? Why fume that someone took your satire and made a point with it?
      The larger (and central) point is that life in the dating world gets harder as time goes by, particularly for women. That’s not an opinion, it’s a fact. It’s the result of centuries of the promulgation and perpetuation of patriarchal societies. It’s also financially driven. In the US, for example, women make on average 20% less than men (0.81 cents per dollar). Move up the chain one category and you’ll find that there are nearly double the number of male rather than female millionaires (2010 Annual World Wealth Report from Merill Lynch and Capgemini).
      When different body image expectations for gender/age are added into the equation things get even more complex. There may exceptions, but that’s what they are: exceptions. You may, perhaps, buck the trend; But statistically speaking the most likely thing to happen is that women have to lower their expectations drastically as the clock ticks. That’s not a personal attack on you, it’s a mathematical reality which modern society disguises with anecdotal evidence and an exceedingly romanticized culture.
      This isn’t just true of women, the formula translates for gay men too. Other than exceptional circumstances (beauty/wealth), as the clock ticks, options diminish. When one is 25 one can pick, after 35 one agrees to be picked, after 45 one waits to be picked and so forth. To pretend age doesn’t play a role is as absurd as pretending that personality, education, finances or looks don’t play a role.

      • That’s the way I feel too. If her “application form” is supposed to be for the lulz, then she should be happy that people are ripping it apart. She shouldn’t be upset that people see it as ridiculous because it’s supposed to be ridiculous, right. But instead, she’s all up in arms, and her fan club too, because she seems to feel invested in this “application form” and that an attack on it is an attack on her.

        It’s just all irrational silliness that doesn’t make any sense.

    • Kim,

      There is no need to defend yourself. This isn’t about your character.

      I used your application as an example of what a woman shouldn’t do to attract a DECENT man. You’re not the only woman I’ve done this to. I’ve brutally dissected other blogger’s post and online dating profiles my original Crazy Cat Lady post is one of the most popular things I’ve written, getting thousands of visitors.

      It’s irrelevant how many men you’ve had, or that men find you attractive, it’s about what a woman shouldn’t do if she wants to attract a decent man. It’s not written to give you advice. Are you getting that now?

      Honestly, in that application you don’t come across well. Whether it’s a joke or not.

      It doesn’t matter what else you have on your blog. It’s not about your personality. It’s the application. I don’t think I can say that any more times.

      I apologize if this hurt your feelings. I do not apologize for the post itself. It’s perfectly within my right to comment on anything that is out in public. It’s called Freedom of Speech and I’m not a “total twat” for exercising that right.

      When you put things on the internet, you are putting yourself out there for commentary and it doesn’t always have to be complimentary. I expect that whenever I post something. Someone is always not going to like something I say, unless it’s about kittens.

      Regards,
      Carolina

  5. Everyone shocked that Carolina would take a dating application and break down why she thinks it’s not going to get quality applicants, as if she’s attacking this lady is just being defensive/white-knighting. There’s really nothing in her post that’s cruel. If it’s a sarcastic application, then this applies even moreso.

    The people posting that think a woman aged 45 has just as easy if not easier of a time finding a guy to date as a 25 year old woman would, well you guys are just ignoring basic realities. Look at marriage statistics and the fact that men are on average significantly older than the women they marry. I believe that women are on average in their mid-20s when they marry. So, women who are older will have a smaller pool of available age-appropriate men (statistically) to date. This is irrefutable. A vastly smaller pool of men available for older women means that it will be more challenging to find a man to date.

    It’s not mean to say so, it just is.

  6. I actually quite liked her application so maybe its a good job I am happily settled, i do not know the blogger concerned so am in no position to know if she is upset or not I just hope that both sides can get together an sort things rather than it spiral into opposing camps. My other half would tell you that despite being together 16 years I am still a crazy cat lady :D

  7. I read through every comment, and I agree with Madame Weebles, Le Clown, Tracy, and others who say this was just plain wrong. You don’t target individual bloggers. You just don’t. Why? Because you freaking wouldn’t want it to happen to you. I think we were supposed to learn this stuff in grade school. It’s crass, it’s catty, and it’s rude. And the idea that women over 45 will never find a man unless they act just so? Is this the 1950s?

    • I get “targeted” all the time for what I say. I had one of my posts on Reddit being ripped apart. So what? Public blogs are not sacred. They are subject to commentary like anything else. If someone wants to keep things private on their blog, they can do so.

      Women over 45 do have a harder time getting a man because men can have women of ANY age, and they like to choose younger women. It’s just a fact of life. Denying it is being ignorant. And a single woman over 45 in the 1950s would have been considered a “spinster.”

        • Sorry for getting your age wrong! This isn’t about your age anyway. (I will change it because that’s unacceptable.)

          Your goal is to attract a man, right? An “application”, even if a joke, isn’t the way to go. No self-respecting, normal man is going to “apply”. You’re selectively weeding-in losers. I’ve watched my gfs do this type of thing, that’s how I know. It took me years to figure out why decent women were ending up with scumbags.

          Read what the male commenters said here. As for the women, who cares what they said unless you’re wanting to get involved with one. This is about what MEN think.

          • Those men don’t know me and have not seen my actual profile. I’m getting plenty of what I want out of life. Just trying to deflect the inevitable douchbags. When I land the next BF (and trust me I’m very picking because I have that luxury) I’ll make sure to show him off to all of you.

      • I get hate mail and/or crazy mail on a daily basis. Whenever we make ourselves and our lives public, people will have their views. I’m shocked at how thin skinned people seem to be. I grew up in a family that was constantly targeted by the media. I didn’t escape that. I could write a two volume book on people’s stories and opinions of me. In fact, that was partly the reason I decided to have a blog and to be so frank on it. If I say it first, there’s nothing that can be used against me.
        Rich kid, hooker, porn-star: all true. So what? :D

      • Oh come on, Carolina. You got trolled – you response to a tongue-in-cheek self-parody as if it were the real thing. Man up and admit it, and move on.

  8. As always- I love it. People need to grow up, wake up- and smell the coffee. Pretending it isn’t so isn’t helping anyone.
    I speak from experience. Lots of it. After a certain age or weight things get much harder. If there are children, even more so. I have enough friends and acquaintances who are ‘permanently on the market’ to know: They’re deluding themselves.
    Reality isn’t mean-spirited and wordpress is a blog server which doesn’t have a ‘spirit’ at all.
    What Carolina does, which I admire, is to translate what people do and think into words. It’s observation. No nonsense, no pretense. Not how we wish we were, but how we actually are. Welcome to the real world. If people want to change it, that’s fine; Meanwhile, this is what’s actually going on.

  9. For starters, have you personally ever used a dating site?

    I have for the first time recently after the divorce of my husband of 8 years. Did you bother to read what she wrote before you ripped her? I will tell you from experience that you get inundated with guys that don’t fit the bill. That’s the point of the whole dating site anyway, that you can put in your likes, dislikes and requirements in attempts to weed through the bullshit.

    You missed the mark here. All you succeeded in doing was to make yourself look like a shallow, narcissistic, and insecure woman.

    I’m 41, and you’re damn right I have requirements, as I’m sure you do. What you Insinuated about women over 45 is fucking shallow, idiotic, and harmful. Believe me, I say some fucked up shit on my blog, but it is never fueled by hate, and never laser-focused on a particular person in a way that would harm them. That is the real art of writing observational comedy.

    I’m sure with your obvious attitude and requirements, you would attract a lovely, shallow, self-centered narcissist. You would be secure in knowing that he was with you for your (fleeting) looks rather than the real person that you are. You really have it figured out, don’t you.

    True, it takes all kinds to make the world go round, and thank god there are women like you to bait all the egotistical, superficial assholes – who are only concerned with the outer aesthetic – out of the fucking dating pool.

    So to Kim at TWTG, good for you sister. Ignore the cheap shot this egocentric woman took at you. Hold your head up, keep on doing what you’re doing, believe in yourself and the rest will fall into place. Her words are only a reflection of her own insecurities.

    You’re Welcome.

    Tracy

    • I have used online dating websites and blogged about my experiences, but now I’m married to great guy.

      I know you get inundated by losers. The reason is because most women have no clue how to attract a DECENT guy. And hint: it isn’t through putting up elaborate list of what you want and calling yourself a princess. Women turn off the DECENT guys with their online profiles.

      How would you I’m only concerned with the outer aesthetic? Were do I talk about looks??

      Hey, I’m being real about women over 45. The competition for great guys is fierce; men can have any age. But this is off topic. It’s not her age that’s the problem, it’s the whole application thing.

      • but it was ok for Tucker Max…now he’s a fucking millionaire. And I’ll tell you what, women can have any age, too my dear. I get what you’re saying, but you cast your net too wide, and aimed your harpoon directly at a specific person and look at the fallout.

        • Tucker Max is a pig.

          I didn’t aim it at her personally. I have nothing against her as a person. I aimed it at her ridiculous application, which even if it’s a joke, is not going to be necessarily taken that way. Case in point: the way I took.

          What’s the goal? To get a man. Not to turn them off. Her application is typical of women’s failure to understand what will attract a DECENT man.

          How would I know how to get and keep a DECENT man? Because I got one.

          • This is the point that so many of these people seem to miss. This criticism was directed at TWTG’s “application form”, not at her as a person. Too many people cannot seem to separate a bad idea from the person who has that idea, and therefore cannot separate the criticism of that idea from criticism of the person who had the idea.

            • The fact that you say it was not directed at her as a person is total bullshit. I could rewrite that piece to be funny as shit, while getting my point across, and hurting no one. Apparently you could not.

            • Angry Duck,
              We’re seasoned bloggers here, and active social media peeps. If that is what was Carolina’s message, it failed; the post ended up sounding disrespectful to a woman, the post ended up hurting a woman… The impact was nowhere close to whatever the intent might have been. There was no humour, at least, poor humour, and whatever arguments were brought to convey and promote a conversation just ended sounding accusatory, anti-feminist and mean-spirited. This will be my last reply here.
              Le Clown

              • Le Clown,

                I don’t think Carolina’s message failed at all. In fact, it seems to be much in the same vein as nearly everything else she’s posted. The only thing that’s changed here is your relationship with the apparent “target”. That’s it. So, if you can sit back and giggle when Carolina criticises a stranger but get all pissy when she criticises a friend, then you’re a hypocrite. A bad idea isn’t immune from criticism simply because you like the person who has it.

                • Angry Duck,
                  You make a valid point about criticizing or not a post because of who the target/person is. I do not know Kim, I read Kim. Do I think the post was poorly executed where a blogger I know was referred to? Absolutely. That is my opinion. I write a blog that is constantly scrutinized because of my topics, language, and humour. I do know what “not catering to every means”. I’ve made my mistakes, and I have learned from them, and I think I’m a much better blogger for it. In this case: I a speaking out because I think this post which might have had a valid message missed the point, in my opinion. I cannot step back and giggle about what’s been written. I can only be horrified, and if you’d know who Le Clown is, you’d understand the magnitude of the statement.
                  Le Clown

              • Sorry, but that sounds rather presumptuous. People don’t have to censor themselves to fit into your vision of what’s right or wrong. That’s what crazy religious people want, others to conform to their standards.
                Carolina has every right to communicate what she chooses however she chooses to do so. Last I checked we don’t have thought police in the free world.

                • Pink,
                  I’m sorry if it sounded presumptuous. This is the perfect example where my intention had a different impact than expected. I myself have written post in the past that missed the mark. I apologized to whoever it was targeted, and learned from it. So let me rephrase this: this is my opinion, from my experience. Carolina has of course the right to blog about what she wants, but in my opinion, she missed the mark, and it ended up sounding IMO hurtful and disrespectful. Voilà.
                  And Pink, you know me better than this… If there is a blog that is constantly looked and scrutilized, it is A Clown on Fire… So you do know that i wouldn’t just spew presumpotuous shit for the sake of it, especially after the other comments I have written on this post already.
                  Le Clown

                  • Le Clown,

                    Who is hurt by it? She doesn’t seem to be judging from her comments on her own blog. She seems rather happy with her increased traffic.

                    She is free to correct me, and tell me where I missed the mark at any time. Her comments will be posted, unedited.

                    • Carolina,
                      At this point, Kim will drop by and speak her mind. I might know more about the impact of your post because of the email exchanges this post has triggered between Kim herself and a few other bloggers. So in all fairness, I understand your confusion, and all of us coming here and speaking our minds out of the blue might sound unfounded. How about we go from here once she’s here… As I said, I think you might have a better understanding then. I don’t want to attack you, Carolina, I’m just very bothered by your post and the impact it had.
                      Le Clown

                    • She has already commented. This is partially what she said:
                      “LMFAO! I’m very busy right now but I will get to you later.”

                      But, if she were upset, she could email me and ask to have to post removed and I would do so. She hasn’t done that.

                      I stand by my right to Free Speech, as I do for anyone. Blog posts are not sacred, they are out in public, and therefore are not immune to ridicule. What? I’m not allowed to say anything unless it’s complimentary?

                      I get shit all the time for things I say and I take it without whining because I’m putting myself out there.

                    • Carolina,
                      It is your right to write and say what you want. And it is your readership’s right to be appalled and choose to unfollow you because of what you write too, like I did. Personally, for me, it’s too much. But I wish you success anyway.
                      Le Clown

                    • Well, sorry to see you go, but that’s how I blog. I’m brutally honest.

                      I wish you success as well, Clown.

                  • You don’t need to be ‘non-offensive’ with me ;) you know me better than that. I’m French rather than French Canadian. We have a tradition of starting wars rather than avoiding them! We also firmly believe in the Right to Offend. Charlie Hebdo and all that jazz.
                    I was having this argument earlier today in a debate. My right to call religious people delusional. Offensive? Perhaps. Also, entirely my right to do so. I stand by it, firmly. I also stand by Hebdo, Carolina and the Spanish magazine that printed its own version of the Mohammed cartoons.
                    Offense will occasionally be taken. That’s par for the course. When said offenses are accompanied by a point of view and message, that’s fine with me. I can’t stand Salman Rushdie. There’s no one more unpleasant to be sat next to at a dinner party- but he has the right to write what he wishes without Fatwa’s being issued against him. He has the right to offend.
                    E. Barlatier de Mas

                    • Pink,
                      I know this of you, which is why I enjoy your blog. But believe it or not, Le Clown is much tougher than his author… I personally dislike confrontations… Quite the dichotomy, isn’t it? So yeah, this is definitely Eric talking as opposed to Le Clown.
                      Cheers,
                      Eric

              • “disrespectful to a woman”
                “the post ended up hurting a woman”

                That’s really what it boils down to don’t it huh.

                Dollar’s to donuts, if what she wrote wasn’t satirical.. none of you would have blinked no matter how disrespectful that trope came off to men tired of dealing with princess attitudes that demand female primacy first and foremost in dating and sexual mating strategies.

                Disrespect to men. Part of male privilege no doubt.

                • That’s what it seems to me. Most of the women (if not all, I haven’t counted) seem to be all “OMGDONTATTACKTEHWIMMINZ!” And the men are on the other side, saying “Hey, this is bullshit. Calm down and look at what’s actually being said, not who was saying it.” I think it’s because men tend to value truth over comfort and women tend to value comfort over truth. Apparently, we can’t point out how ridiculous, insane, and arguably bigoted this woman’s post is because it will make her sad.

        • Wait.. wha? Tucker Max? How’d he get on this?

          Tucker Max didn’t have a list! He simply showed up and said “Hey I’m Tucker Max, the pig all the girls fuck… wanna fuck!”

          And thats it!

          He fucked hot chicks, not so hot chicks, whatever. He had no requirements besides going home with him.

          How in the name of Zeus’s butthole did he get into this? And am i mistaken or are you saying your friend is the female version of Tucker ‘no standards as long as it fucks me’ Max? Curious minds want to know.

          • Tucker Max became famous by posting his “Dating Application” on his website. Do your homework.

            • Umm no. Did my homework.

              Tucker became famous for:

              - starting up a website chronicling his his drinking and sexual encounters in the form of short stories in 2002
              - posting an account on his website of his relationship with Katy Johnson, Miss Vermont 1999
              - he became famous when some dumb skank from HuffPo wrote about how she let her empowered ass get plowed, used and abused by the jackhammer, for all teh interwebz to see

              http://www.lemondrop.com/2009/09/23/i-slept-with-tucker-max-the-internets-biggest/

              - in 2009 he held a speaking engagement which was picketed by a feminist group at The Ohio State University, who claimed that his writing “promoted a culture of rape.” (isn’t that funny, promoting a culture of rape.. by sleeping with dumb fucking women like the lemondrop girl, how interesting)

              Is that enough homework for you?

              And yes, he posted a list. And as CC pointed out, he’s a fucking pig. I guess you’re trying to say your friend is as piggish as T.Max. Good job.

  10. Well, looks like a row amongst friends. Not what i envisioned. Looks like there will be some discussions to take place.

    From the outside looking in i saw nothing reprehensible, tho i am quite far removed from implications or repercussions.

    I found Trailers site through Carolina. Had she not posted, it would simply be ONE LESS post that i have seen documented time and again which is written in such typical misandric fashion.

    Perhaps those that know her well can articulate what the actual point of her post was then? Satirical self reflection in a brutal dating climate? Deep lamentations of the hurdles she must now endure dealing with teh stoopid menz trying to grab her boobs? Seriously. I would surely love to know what you know, that the average layperson who comes across her site and reads her post does not know?

    After having read thousands upon thousands of delusional, entitled profiles, hurdle jumping, fem-centric, misandric, what can you do for me because im a f*cking princess and entitled to everything you have to offer and you need to jump through my hoops.. and oh you’re a man so your needs are irrelevant, i have the pussy i make the rules, i am the princess, i am the prize bullshit… i shudder to ask what the overall point of her post was if not just adding to the heaping pile of steaming bulltripe that passes for female dating humor advice that will only serve to create another generation of spinster women who will find out the hard way that most men have wisened up and they’re destined for the scoopfree zone with that attitude.

    To all the men who defend her and say they would gladly apply to the ‘position’ in her ad.. this must be either in pure jest or simply because you know her on a level that i do not, which constitutes insider knowledge. No self respecting man with any dignity would ‘reply’ to that ‘ad’. For my first visit to her site ever, i was presented with a woman full of herself, clearly delusional from what was written and firmly full of expectations without regard to what was being offered in return. In essence it was the defacto Sex and the City fabulous post that is leading a generation of women to do STUPID things like delay looking for a serious relationship until they’re well into their 30′s after having ‘fooled around’, eagerly embracing divorce so they can look for their shining 10 year younger pool boy in shining armour to save their fabulous princess ass from loneliness whilst they go all eat pray love.

    The fact that you know her in any other fashion otherwise is purely irrelevant to me because i only saw the post as she wrote it, which was delusional, self serving and offered herself up on a silver platter to be pilloried and repudiated. If she wanted a way out, she could have added a disclaimer of the entire post being SATIRE.

    I will call off the post about ‘replying’ to her job position opening. One can hope that this little fore into delusional dating etiquette is enough to stop other women from writing such ridiculous hamsterization of their own fabulousness without enough sobriety to self reflect on how it looks to those who may not see it quite the same way.

  11. Wow, I guess I’m going to be going against the grain on this one. I’m not one of these magic WordPress people for whom criticism is apparently outlawed, so from my perspective, this seems like legitimate commentary to me. As a stranger to this White Trash Gourmet, I agree with most of Carolina’s points. The Gourmet seems to completely misunderstand the nature of attracting (quality) male attention, I don’t have a problem with older women, but I do have a problem with self-absorbed, deluded women, who see the men in their lives only as accessories that go with their attire.

    And for everyone pouncing on Carolina, claiming this to be “mean spirited”, have you been here before? This post is no different than many of the other posts Carolina has made, but you’re all reacting like she’s lit kittens on fire simply because you know the target personally. If the person she’s talking about is a stranger, you’re all “Right on!” and “So true!”, but when she talks about someone you know, you’re all “OMGMEEEEEN!” Get real.

    It doesn’t matter what you think of the person about who’s dating profile Carolina’s criticising, because the point is that people who see that profile won’t know her, and will be making judgements about her based on her “application form.” And, unfortunately, most of those judgements will be similar to those raised by Carolina.

    So step back for a moment, and think about whether you’re really doing TWTG a favour by blindly jumping to her defence. The fact that she’s not a stranger to so many of you should mean that you’re MORE willing to point out her bad behaviour and help her correct it, rather than less. Protecting her from criticism, particularly justified criticism, does her a disservice.

  12. Carolina,
    This post isn’t the spirit of WordPress. This is mean. I’m 47 and happily in a relationship but I don’t for a second think a 25 year old has anything on me. And if men my age prefer a 25-year-old, they are the ones with the problem.

    Kim is good people. And I know I bear responsibility for this and I will discuss that with Kim. This is ugly and mean.

    Maggie

    • What is the difference between this post and the one where I give the woman a Five ScoopFree rating?? Or any of the other times I’ve blasted women for their online dating profiles or Wish Lists, like the Crazy Cat Lady. It’s the same thing.

      You aren’t responsible for this. I am.

      • This is a fellow WordPress blogger who you have belittled and humiliated. This is her place, too. You posted her photo, we know her. It’s very different.

        • People will go to her website to see her. They did that with the Crazy Cat Lady, who was a wordpress blogger, I might add. If it bothers her, I will remove it immediately.

  13. Carolina,
    I know you’re good people, and I can sort of see what you’re trying to do with this column. There are a few things written in your post that are just wrong (women on the age of 45 should work harder, for example… What’s next? Weight? Being a mother?). Kim is a friend, she’s a class act. Her blog is witty, extremely funny, and often crude, I think this is an offensive post, and hurtful, even if your intentions were (I hope) different. I feel sorry for any other blogger who will be featured here.
    Le Clown

    • Le Clown,

      I do have a post on women over 45, and I am brutally honest about how they are in competition with 25 year olds. This means they have to work harder to attract a man. I don’t like to snark on looks. I think that’s really unfair. But, this isn’t about Kim’s looks.

      Kim may be a perfectly nice person, but her application comes across like she thinks she’s god’s gift to men. I used it as a example of what not to do.

      I appreciate your input and your feelings on the matter are important to me.

      • Carolina,
        I know you mean well. You’re friends with La La and Maggie, which by association should make you awesome just in itself. Have you spoken to Kim first? Do you know what her intentions were? My point is even if you disagree, writing a douchey post about perhaps a questionable post (it’s a matter of opinion) is in the end just as nasty. I think this is really a nasty post that has missed the mark, and you know how much Le Clown enjoys pushing the envelop when it comes to questionable humour.
        Le Clown

  14. I actually know The White Trash Gourmet through her posts, although she hasn’t blogged much recently. She’s a very nice person. I don’t think this is very nice.

    • It isn’t very nice. I agree. The reason I’m doing it though is to show women how badly they come across when they do things like create “applications” and list their requirements for a man.

      • How noble of you. Unless TWTG gave you permission to use her image and content in this way, this is incredibly nasty and mean spirited. I will no longer be following you.

        • I agree it isn’t nice, but I used it to illustrate graphically how women are screwing up when it comes to men. She chose to put this stuff on the internet, and when you do that you have no expectation of privacy.

          I am blunt and I will call it like it is. Her blog post wanting men to “apply” for a job as her boyfriend is rather disgusting. Here’s what it would look like if a man did the same thing and tell me if you think it’s okay:

          “Most of you might not be aware, but “I’m a Pig” is single now, and on the prowl. I was on dating sites but I got overwhelmed with the number of responses so I decided to try a different approach.

          I’m taking applications!

          Now Hiring at I’m a Pig Incorporated!

          Position to be filled: Girlfriend/Lover/Booty call

          Position vacated: August 13, 2012

          Requirements:

          Day job – not as stripper, wife, or hooker

          Car – has to be working properly, I don’t want to have to fix it

          House – must move in with me

          Children Not OK

          Adventure seeking, vodka drinking, affable, outgoing and likes to watch porn and have 3somes

          Gorgeous – in my opinion, not yours

          Brains – not required

          A sense of humor – must laugh at my jokes, if you don’t, I have no use for you

          Please submit resume to imapig@gmail.com along with nude or topless photo and drink invitation to apply for a face to face interview.”

          • It doesn’t matter if I think her content is acceptable or not. You’re not out to do her any favors by pointing out the error of her ways. What I think is that you’re immensely enjoying skewering someone unfairly. It says a lot more about you than it does about her. Have a nice life, Carolina.

            • Calling out basic misandry and outdated, ridiculous ways of thinking/speaking/acting is always a good thing. The fact Carolina called the Trailer out on it is refreshingly awesome. If pointing out the error of her ways is not doing her any favors, but rather letting her continue to roll around in ignorance like a happy pig in sh*t is doing her a favor, then we should all be glad to not have people like you around who might want to do us a favor.

              Somehow i don’t think you and your favors will be missed.

            • This is not about whether I find her content acceptable. I’m using it to make a point about mistakes women with men make in general. I doubt she will even see it.

              I’m not skewering her unfairly; she put that stuff out there. If she comes across poorly, that’s on her. I did not change in any way what she said.

              What it says about her is that she’s a complete idiot when it comes to men. What it says about me is that I am brutally honest when I point things out.

              • LMFAO! I’m very busy right now but I will get to you later. The fact that you or your cronies took me seriously is just proof that you don’t do a bit of research and just shoot from the hip. Maybe next time before you write awful stuff about women you don’t know you will take a few extra minutes to read what else they have written and get a feel for their personality.

                How old are you anyway?

                GAH! I’m so pissed. I will be answering you properly with a counterpoint for every mistake you have made in talking about me.

                Thanks for the free publicity.

                TWTG

                • Thanks for joining the conversation. So you’re saying it’s all satire? (I thought maybe you were just joking, but the part about wanting a man to buy you drinks made me think you were serious.)

                  Having said that, don’t you think others could take it seriously? Like a man? I mean your whole point is to get a man, right? (I asked a couple men to read it before I wrote the post and they were actually offended by it.)

                  That is not the way to attract a man. You want me to lie, to say, “Oh, that’s a great idea! You’ll attract tons of decent guys!”

  15. i disagree that women over 45 need to work harder to get a man. however, what women over 45 need to work harder at is weeding out the idiots from the good guys. but i’m not a woman, so what do i know? hmm. well, i don’t know how to load a dishwasher, work the remote, download apps on my smartphone, operate the thermostat… – just kidding. i’m making comments that the idiots would make that the most adorable TWTG will have to sift through. and if i were anywhere near california, or even arizona, i would be applying ASAP.

  16. I’m still working on my reply to her ‘job position’ ad as someone looking to be possibly gainfully employed. I fit all her major criteria and will be submitting full dressed up and topless shots along with my resume for her to see what a catch i am.

    I will then add, knowing i am overqualified for the role, demand some high end perqs from the job, bonus compensation, salary adjustments, and determine whether or not this company is even qualified to entertain the possibility of retaining my services without major restructuring and renovations to the company itself.

    In the end i do not think i will get the job.. but applying will be most enjoyable nonetheless!

    This one is ready to be buried under a pile of kitty litter.

  17. This is why people frown upon internet dating.

    • of course, because stalking blog comments is far easier. (ha!)

      • You are all over the place today. Wait a minute…

        • i was recently driving with my daughter and she saw a friend walking across the street. she quickly picked up her phone and called him. when he answered, she said, “hey, careful crossing that street.” he was confused of course and asked where she was and how she could see him. we were gone by then, but she said, “hey, nice shirt. that color looks good on you.” again he asked where she was. “over here, in the store window, see me waving?” he asked where. “no, on the other side of the street. look the other way.” he was so confused. then she said, “uh oh. cops are coming. i gotta go.” and hung up.

  18. On a scale from 1 to 10 she is maybe a 3.5 you can clearly see she has a vodka belly, or from sitting on the couch watching Jerry Springer in her trailer eating Chocolate ho ho’s
    Kids do not bother me, what bothers me is she is looking for someone to support her.
    She does look like she swallows though which would be a plus.

    • OMG, Vile! You are too much.

      • Vile is a very good nom de plume. You don’t know me. You don’t know that my belly may be from having three beautiful children that come before all of the dating bullshit in the world. And I’d love to see what your twiggy taste in women might be. As to how I perform oral sex, that is between my lover and I. I have a very big life with plenty of good men and women in it. Believe it or not people like me. They are attracted to my openness and drama free existence. And just to be clear I have a fabulous job, I pay my $600 car payment and rent and I think it’s pathetic that I can’t expect a man to do the same for himself. More to follow…

        • First off Carolina an awesome post as always, she does like it when I jump in. I am out spoken, and I live by the truth. First off I do not meet women off of dating sites, nor do I meet in bars, nor would I want a female who can out drink me.
          I do admire a single working mother, I do pay child support. I am suppose to pay 340 a month for one child, I myself pay just over 700 a month, after all how much does it cost to raise a child.

          Lets say I was going to join a dating site, and I was looking for a partner, and I came across a profile that says I am taking applications, really are you serious?

          Your last post you said Dickhead, that is very womanly of you to say, I would not date a woman who has the mouth of a sailor, then again some men do not care.

          As far as my partner, who is a size 2 maybe a 3 would never use such language , or lower herself to someones level to use such language, nor can she out drink me, oh I did not mention her Masters Degree.

          Taking applications really are you serious?
          What Carolina is doing here on her blog is very good , she has a lot of good ideas.

          Expecting a man to pay his way, I agree with, but to bring up money even before you meet someone, is just wrong. The problem is we are a Disposable Society. Your last relationship you even stated it would not work, why even go through all that drama.
          I cannot tell by your pic now it has been cropped, I am sure being the mother of three kids has something to do with, again I admire a single working mother I have great respect.

          Last but least I can assure you, you are not someone that would be filling out the application, I am really not into cheap Vodka.

          As always Carolina much love to you
          Vile

          • Again you aren’t getting it. I’M NOT TAKING APPLICATIONS! Good Lord people.

            • Even if a joke I would as a man take it wrong. A car 2009 or newer, we could not date, I own a 1968 Cougar Gt Eliminator , which is probably valued more than your new car. I also owe a 2000 Isuzu Pickup which is paid for. It runs , looks good has air, why would I want a car payment, oh that is right in order for me to date I need a 2009 or newer.
              Again I admire the fact your a single working mother.
              I would not use my blog as a dating site, over half of my followers are females, from school teachers to PHD’s
              Maybe I should try out a few dating sites , but my profile was banned from eHarmony so I do not know. That is a joke but it probably would be.
              If you are fighting men off with a stick, why join so many dating sites?

              • So many? I’ve been on one. I found I could get all the ass I wanted at bars but I really prefer to get to know someone. To cull the correct people from the crowd. I have the luxury to be picky. No, I don’t have a masters but I could. I instead took a different path. So education centric. I read, I absorb and I’m probably one of the brightest people you will ever meet. But still you aren’t reading back and seeing what I’ve written. Do that and then maybe we can talk.

Trackbacks

  1. Fanning the Flames « The White Trash Gourmet
  2. Here, Dissent & Debate Are Encouraged « The Pink Agendist
  3. Sorry, Kate! Offence, the C word, language, imbecility and hypocrisy. « The Pink Agendist

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