I stumbled across a blog from a single middle-aged woman looking for love and was struck by the lengthy “non-negotiable list” of demands her
next non-existent man was going to have to meet.
She explained that she had bad relationships in the past, and she wasn’t going to “settle” for anything less than everything she wanted.
She went into great detail explaining each category—as if men out there are eagerly reading each word— hoping they are The One who meets her stringent requirements. This is her edited list:
- Honesty/Integrity/Loyalty/Sincerity/Values/Priorities – No flirting with other women allowed
- Best Friend/Confidant
- Humility – knows/accepts when he’s done or said something wrong and can apologize (no excuses, but rather reasons)
- Chemistry/Passion/Intensity/Sexual Compatibility
- Non-procrastinator (terminal)
- Must be good to me and FOR me (as well as for my children…i.e. male figure, role model)
- Enjoys snuggling/kissing/PDA
- Social/Work/Hobbies/Alone Time
- E.Q. – the ability to correctly assess the emotions and oneself and those with whom one interacts
- Conversation/Communication skills
- Shares all household responsibilities (cooking/cleaning/bills etc)
- Willingness to grow
- Work Ethic
- Sense of humor
- Financial stability
- And maybe even more….
Glaringly absent was any mention of what she was going to do for this vulnerable, sexy, motherly, affectionate, funny, humble, well-off, work horse of a man.
Several of her visitors actually encouraged her, commenting how she shouldn’t lower her high standards and that her list was “reasonable.” But not me.
I told her to GET REAL.
Any man reading her list is going to RUN.
Her list is not only wildly unrealistic, it’s insulting. This “lucky” man is to work his ass off (but hey, that’s what men are good for, right?) and when he comes home from work on time, he is to engage in appropriate conversation by first correctly assessing her emotions, make her laugh, cook dinner, clean up, help her kids by another man do their homework, and then cuddle with her.
Maybe some day robots will be able to do all this, but there isn’t a man alive who can. Men are human. That means they are flawed. They aren’t superhuman. But, most importantly, they aren’t here to serve women.
And to all the women out there with lists of what you want in a man: Throw them out!
Or you’re going to be needing a lot of cat litter boxes.
If you insist on hanging onto your lists, I recommend the ScoopFree cat litter system.