controversial relationship advice

Do Men Have a Right To Be Angry With Women?

The “Men Going Their Own Way” Movement Logo

There’s a growing Men’s Right movement in America. A lot of men are angry over what they view as the misandry in our society.

Their issue:  feminism is screwing men over.

They have a point.

Feminists demanding equality—which sounded like a good idea—caused a cultural revolution that changed the roles of men and women.

Unfortunately, feminism has made it so women are not treated as equals. Women are now superior to men, treated with privilege.

Paradoxically, in the feminist world women can supposedly do anything a man can, yet they sure need lots of help doing it. Standards were lowered so women can qualify for all types of jobs ranging from firefighter to fighter pilot. Women get a pass now when it comes to all sorts of things.

Men, on the other hand, are viewed as aggressive, harassing, potential rapists, who can’t possibly be trusted to parent children.

1) The feminist view on domestic violence is that women are blameless victims of brutal men. (I  blogged about this here.)

2)  To the feminists, when a woman dresses in a mini-skirt with clear heels, gets drunk and ends up raped, it isn’t her fault. However, women should act responsibly and not put themselves in compromising situations. Should women be able to stumble around drunk with the expectation of not getting raped? Sure, in a perfect world.

[For clarification, I am not condoning rape or saying women deserve to be raped if they dress a certain way. I am advocating taking responsibility for one's own safety.]

3) In order to get custody of his children, a man has the burden of both proving the mother is “unfit” and proving he is worthy. All she has to do is show up to court. Her worthiness as a good mother is assumed. The default assumption for the man is that he is unfit to parent his own children.

But then our society has always screwed men over.

Traditionally, men have been viewed as expendable, their efforts and lives taken for granted. Years ago, if people were killed in an accident, the media used the phrase “innocent women and children” to report the deaths, as if the men who died were of no consequence.

These are goat heads on a dinner table

The military has been predominately male and soldiers are seen as cannon fodder. They have no value; their lives are viewed as meaningless. For years men were conscribed to go to godforsaken places and die for some political agenda. This attitude prevails today. Our soldiers can die building some road in Afghanistan for a bunch of ignorant, goats-head-eating desert dwellers and that’s viewed as a perfectly acceptable trade-off.

 

 

When was the last time you saw a female garbage collector or coal miner?

Feminism is supposedly about equality and this notion that women can do anything men can, but wait….men are the ones working at unpleasant and dangerous tasks, such as high voltage wire work, logging, garbage collection, building steel frameworks for skyscrapers, coal mining. Why don’t women work at these types of jobs? Because they don’t have to.

Oh, I’m sure there are two or three women out there doing these jobs.

A woman has many work options and all are respectable:

1) She can work full-time

2) She can work part-time

3) She can be a stay-at-home mom

4) She can be a welfare Queen

The respectable options for a man:

1) He has to work full-time

Maureen Dowd looking pleased with herself ’cause she doesn’t need a man. She’s going to jump on that oil rig in the sweltering Texas sun and get her own oil for her Mercedes SLR.

In 2006, feminist Maureen Dowd wrote a book called Are Men Necessary?

“There’s….evidence the Y chromosome will go out of business…,” Dowd said on American Morning. “So now that women don’t need men to reproduce and refinance, the question is, will we keep you around?”

My questions for Maureen are: Do you even change your own tires? Who do you think engineers, builds and maintains our infrastructure, our entire way of life? Who is going to run into the burning buildings to save all those innocent women and children? Uhm, yeah, that would be men. 

Can you imagine the outrage if a man wrote a book called Are Women Necessary? And then was quoted saying, “With the advent of robots and artificial wombs, the XX chromosome will go out of business. So now that men don’t need women to clean, cook and have sex with, the question is will we keep them around?” The author would have to go into hiding.

And if all that weren’t enough to garner men’s ire, there’s the feminist leader’s statements:

“A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.” — Gloria Steinem

This is Andrea Dworkin. She had a poster up in her apartment that said, “DEAD MEN DON’T RAPE”

“Seduction is often difficult to distinguish from rape. In seduction, the rapist often bothers to buy a bottle of wine.”  — Andrea Dworkin, Leader of the Women’s Movement Against Pornography

“To call a man an animal is to flatter him; he’s a machine, a walking dildo.”  — Valerie Solano, Society for Cutting Up Men (SCUM) Manifesto.

A lot of feminists focus on rape, as if all men are drooling beasts ready to pounce and rip our panties off. Newsflash ladies:  Men don’t want to have sex with us that badly. 

Taking all this into consideration, I’m surprised men aren’t angrier.

For a continuation of the discussion on how men are not valued equally with women go here.

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Categorised in: Disparity Between Men and Women, Men's Rights Movement

63 Responses »

  1. “Why don’t women work at these types of jobs? Because they don’t have to.” Yet we hear that women becomes strippers or prostitutes because they have no other options. There are other options, just are just even lower on the totem pole then being a stripper or prostitute.

  2. JOR, are you for real?

    “every man who is really upset that they’re not allowed to rape women”

    Like whom exactly?

    “I note to the side that when MRAs minimize rape or validate rapists”

    Like, where?

    Links please.

  3. Stopped reading at 2:

    “For clarification, I am not condoning rape or saying women deserve to be raped if they dress a certain way . . . ”

    Yes. Yes, you are. If you really must straight-up lie, please at least do so in a way that doesn’t insult the reader’s intelligence.

    Look, I’m not a feminist ally and I think feminism carries a lot of toxic baggage. But every man who is really upset that they’re not allowed to rape women who wear mini-skirts and high heels or get drunk any more deserves to have their skull smashed by a feminist, and then dumped in the ocean as shark food.

    I note to the side that when MRAs minimize rape or validate rapists in this way by insisting that there should be mitigating factors (“she was drunk!” or “she was a slut!” etc.), they are throwing countless men who have been raped by women under the bus, since it is the very work feminists* have done to redefine rape as any kind of non-consensual sex, removing so-called mitigating factors from the laws and from cultural awareness, that has made it possible to identify these wounded men and give them a voice.

    *Many feminists have resisted expanding the scope to include rape-by-envelopment (i.e. forcing a man to penetrate), because they didn’t want to face the statistical consequences (if the definition of rape is expanded to include forced envelopment of a man’s penis, it turns out men are raped almost as often as women are, and mostly by women). This would be an actual legitimate thing to criticize feminists for, but it would involve abandoning your rape apologism. I wonder which you are more attached to.

    • You seem to have missed her point.

      What she’s saying is that people are obligated to take actions to reduce the likelihood that they become victims of crime, and that if they choose to behave irresponsibly and take unnecessary risks that contribute to them being victimised, then they hold partial culpability in allowing the events to take place.

      Why is it that only in rape cases are the actions of the victims that contributed to the crime completely absolved or ignored? In every other crime, the actions of the victims are considered. Someone who wanders around in dark alleys flashing hundreds of dollar bills is far more likely to be robbed than someone who doesn’t. The mouthy teen who attacks a gangster is far more likely to be beaten up by that gangster than the banker who avoids confrontations with gangsters.

      The point is, everyone holds some responsibility for the situation in which they find themselves. Sometimes it’s incredibly minute, such as not having a motion activated light on their porch and they get burgled. Other times it’s overtly obvious, such as the drunkard who hits on everyone (s)he sees.

      Asserting that people have culpability in their victimisation isn’t absolving the perpetrator of his/her wrong doing, nor is it ‘apologetics’, rape or otherwise. It is simply showcasing how people have agency and control over their situations.

      All this “don’t blame the victim” nonsense that you’re obviously subscribing to does only one thing. It teaches us that we have no control over any of the situations we find ourselves, that there is nothing we can do to prevent us from becoming a victim, that we have no power over our own destiny. Teaching people that they are powerless in the face of crime does nothing but instil a sense of fear in people, and reduce them from agents in their own destiny to simple objects to which things occur.

      For someone who claims not to be a “feminist” or a “feminist ally”, you sure seem to have bought into their bullshit when it comes to rape. Think critically for a moment and simply ask yourself, why is a female victim of rape any different than any other victim of any other crime. Why are female victims of rape any more special or worthy of defence than male victims of rape? Why are they special, and why are they deserving of extra protection not afforded to other members of society or victims of other crimes?

    • I agree with your last point – how many women have forced their partner to have sex, have taken advantage of someone drunk (how many guys have woken up next to someone they would NEVER have had sex with if they were sober … but they don’t get to cry rape about it?) or have abused someone much younger than them? There seem to be a lot of female teachers and friends of mothers in the press these days “raping” boys and either getting away with it or getting lenient sentences and treatment in comparison (understanding rather than condemnation for example, and, of course, there are exceptions to this with a few women getting real sentences depending on the state).

      Carolina is saying nothing about “deserving”. What she is talking about is being aware of how certain clothing and behaviour can have an effect on others- especially if those others happen to be drunk or dangerous or both.

      If both parties are drunk the man is still treated as being responsible while the woman is not. It’s typical of a system which often infantilizes women saying they can’t be held accountable for choices and actions. Look at the preponderance issue in US universities which can get a male student kicked out and labelled for life just based on an accusation.

    • JOR, we tell children on a regular basis not to talk to strangers. Yet telling a woman not to get so drunk as to be unable to fend off a sleezy lecher is somehow unfair to her? Are you seriously suggesting that a 3 year old child is more capable of taking responsibility for their own safety than a grown woman? And it’s the MRA’s who are sexist?

      “I note to the side that when MRAs minimize rape or validate rapists”

      No MRA in my experience has ever validated a rapist. What we have said is (and I’m paraphrasing) “you can be responsible for your own safety, like we expect of children and ourselves), so stop telling men they need to change or suffer increasing levels of restriction or oppression (yes. Suggesting a reversal of the presumption of innocent until proven guilty for cases where a man (but not women) is accused of rape, is seeking to oppress) for your personal protection, and start protecting yourself”. Saying “there’s nothing you could have done, you’re a victim” when there actually was some things they could have done is irresponsible. It’s not nice, especially immediately after the attack, but to deny the truth, and to allow the person to continue acting in the exact same manner… that’s wrong. Last I checked, if a man left his BMW running with the door open while he stopped inside a store in the middle of a shaddy neighborhood, he wouldn’t get a “there was nothing you could do”, he’d be told “what the H3(( is wrong with you? Are you stupid?”

    • No, JOR, what I’m saying is that women need to take responsibility for their own actions and safety.

      As to how a woman dresses: If a woman walks around dressed like a hoochie mama she is WANTING to attract attention. She just only wants to attract attention from “decent” guys, but that’s not how it works. She needs to realize she is going to attract EVERYONE, this to include rapists.

      I’m not saying dress like a nun, but I am saying woman need to stop acting naive when they go out. Young women can go too far. Paris Hilton used to wear lingerie out, bra, thong and garter belt. She used to dress so provocatively she left nothing for the hookers to wear.

      Women need to realize that if they dress provocatively then allow themselves to get compromised by getting intoxicated with drugs/alcohol they are risking sexual assault.

    • Am I victim blaming if I tell someone to lock their car, or lock their house? Am I victim blaming to tell someone to put passwords on their personal information? Am I victim blaming to tell someone not to walk around dangerous places alone. Am I victim blaming when I tell a man that if he gets involved with a crazy woman he is more likely to be falsely accused?

  4. We ARE angry….we just get our revenge in more subtle ways now….

  5. “Taking all this into consideration, I’m surprised men aren’t angrier.”

    We’re not allowed to be. If we stand up for ourselves we’re called bitter misogynists that want to put women back in the kitchen. If we dare to criticize feminism we’re accused of opposing equality because they have decided feminism and equality are synonyms. If we dare to stand firm, to hold our positions and not back down we’re called abusive. Feminists have a racket going on based highly on emotional reasoning.

  6. I’m so glad to see another woman recognising and spreading the word about how men are viewed, devalued, and mistreated in our society. Too often when I try to express these same ideas, they are immediately dismissed simply because I’m male. It’s a sad state of affairs when man cannot even express dissatisfaction on his own behalf, that his complaints only have merit if a woman shares them.

    And then,to see people smear the MRM with false claims of racism, or to believe the nonsense of the SPLC…it’s sad because in many people’s minds, men are already racism, hateful, raging, violent oppressors, and it’s much easier to confirm one’s bias than to show it as false.

    Thank you.

  7. Excellent stuff. Very concise points. Love the bit about Maureen Dowd and whether she considered who changes her tires and maintains our infrastructure.

    • It’s interesting to me that Maureen has never considered for a moment who is behind all the sanitation, car repair, construction, bridge building, road repair, electricity, oil drilling, cattle butchering, and everything else that gives us modern life, and it sure isn’t women.

  8. A fan of Warren Farrel, I see. It’s polite to credit your quotes.

    As for men being necessary – if all the men were raptured, the electricity grid would go down within hours. Oh sure – there are female electrical engineers. But not enough of them. Turn off the electricity in your home at the power box to get an idea of what comes next (hint: you will need to empty your refigerator). All of the meat at the supermarket will start to rot.

    Next day, your toilet will no longer flush, and you will have to shit in a bucket. Oh sure, there are female sanitation engineers, but not enough of them.

    Within a day or two, there would be no gas left at the gas station. And hardly anyone would be left who knows how to make more (petroleum engineers).

    Within another day, there would be no food of any kind in the cities.

    If all the women were raptured, well – life would go on. Except the clothing stores would all have to close and the malls would become ghost towns. Men with loving wives and good homes would be griefstricken. Men without them would feel a combination of sadness and relief.

    • Wow, you bring up an interesting question. How long would each gender survive without the other?

      I think if women were to disappear, most men would survive until they all died of old age. Most things would go on as usual. I don’t know how long women would survive without men. Not long.

  9. I am so happy you wrote this and it is so well said. When men talk to me about our roles, I completely understand when they are angry. I try to be a voice of “what the result should be.” I am going to share this for sure!!!

  10. “There’s….evidence the Y chromosome will go out of business…,” Dowd said on American Morning. ”So now that women don’t need men to reproduce and refinance, the question is, will we keep you around?”

    So to state the underlying assumption, Dowd thinks men’s very existence is at the whim of women, that they have some right to do away with us if they please? So much for human rights, I guess.

    • Good point about human rights. I hadn’t really seen that before in her statement. She does make it seem as if men exist only to serve women.

      And she wonders why she isn’t married…..

    • It is actually, theoretically. Sex selective abortion happens in parts of the world, so I’m wondering what will happen with birth patterns and choice when the gender war actually heats up.

      Up until now it has been completely one sided, with all the (now) old grey haired white knights “yes-dearing” us into this Dystopia. Single mothers seem to be growing a lot of latent thug misogynists.

  11. Danny sent me. Good post, I’m looking forward to more.

  12. Excellent post. Clearly, Danny pointed me here.

    And thanks for proving a other Manosphere point: Hot chicks aren’t feminists, because they don’t need to be.

  13. Andrea Dworkin: One harpoon away from a lifetime supply of clean-burning lamp oil.

  14. Over from Danny’s blog, glad to have caught the link. I think i shall like it here!

    Great post!

    • Thanks. There are advocates for women, children and battered women, but who stands up for men?

      • No one, because men are the ones standing up. For others.

      • Indeed. And i really am glad to take note that there are special women out there who do recognize that something is not right out there in the world. I’m finding more of them online everyday and they give me hope that they can restore some sanity against the grip feminism has over society.

        I always try to make that distinction that my fight is against feminism and not women. Sometimes my words fail in that regard, but always try to keep in my mind NAWALT.

        Thanks for being one of them!

        • I agree.

          you know what my “favorite” part of the current zeitgeist is? The fact that men have to always clarify that their criticism is not meant for all women, it is meant for that subset of women and men that are feminists and feminism =/= women.

          yes, my avatar is an exact likeness

  15. My guess would be that Andrea Dworkin has rape fantasies – because the only way she will ever get some is if some sicko jumped her in a dark alley where he couldn’t see what he was getting.

    Honestly, she sounds mentally ill. She certainly doesn’t speak for me, as a woman. Neither do the other feminist nutjobs.

  16. Carolina,
    So true.

    I had real trouble understanding this MGTOW movement at the beginning. But I think I got there. It is now easy to see why it exists.
    About Ms. Dworkin, if she was raped, then of course that’s horrible…

  17. Great post, Carolina. I don’t think that many people really realize that this is occurring. People wanting to have the same opportunities as others is not the same as bringing others down so that they can have just as much without the same requirements.

    Anyone claiming that there is a huge pay gap nowadays is just misinformed. I highly recommend people read Why Men Earn More:

    I’ve had many women (and some men) be upset that I was reading such a book. Then I ask them if they know that it has a foreword by a former President of the National Organization for Women. The open minded ones are intrigued, the closed minded prejudiced ones are still upset. To this day, statistics regarding pay rates are hugely misinterpreted and misunderstood.

  18. I’m not even gonna get into the depths of this article,especially the quotes from that Femi-Nazi Maureen,or what I’d say Mauron(Moron).

    But as far as this Men’s Rights Movement,my main prob with them is the racial shit they advocate.They’re undercover white supremacists in my views.

    • I don’t know about their racist leanings, but my blog isn’t so much about the men’s rights movement as it is about how men are getting screwed in various ways.

    • There are a few white supremacists posing as MRAs, but obviously thy’re not interested in ALL men’s rights. The respectable sites keep them on the fringes where they belong. Don’t buy the SPLC-esque hype. The whole point of it is to keep you doubting.

    • I know I am a bit late on this, but I find your comment really interesting. I own and manage the most prominent men’s rights website on the internet, and I have been an activist for 25 years. Our writers are from all different walks of life, race, sex, sexual orientation and otherwise.

      As with all movements there are some bad apples on the fringe, but I am very curious to know what groups of men’s activists you have encountered that left you with the impression it was appropriate to paint us all as undercover white supremacists. Please advise, with my thanks in advance.

    • @ social kenny Please provide evidence for this sweeping generalization about the men’s right movement – ie not random insanity and sickness from certain individuals but evidence from all the pages and forums that state that race has anything to do with men’s rights.

      There are all kinds of men’s rights advocates and many differ in their opinions – from those who are happily married to those who are celibate, to those who avoid women to those who are PickUpArtists (is that what your PUA stands for?), religious/atheists, there are traditionalists who want a return to male and female “roles” and those who think marriage today is little more than a scam to enable certain women to take houses, cash and kids.

      I see men and women as people – both capable of incredible and monstrous things. What I want to see is the real “equality” that feminists pretend they want – both sexes to be treated in exactly the same way in regards to, for example, the legal system. I also advocate other changes to the system eg since it is clear that many boys learn differently from girls that education is changed to reflect this instead of all the gloating we hear today that girls are doing so much better without acknowledging the many changes in education we’ve had.

      Dismissing supporters of men’s rights as racists makes you sound like a SouthernPovertyLawCentre supporter – trying to label people as bigots just because they think that men and women should be treated equally.

  19. This is fantastic. I don’t know what the hell happened to Maureen Dowd but something turned her to the dark side hard. Andrea Dworkin is a sick woman. I had friends in college who had to read her “poetry” for a class and we would all read it and shake our heads. Good for you and thank you for writing this. You may be inviting backlash of your own (thank you Susan Faludi).

    Have a good weekend.

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