See, even Jim Carrey is a zombie!
Since the Zombie Apocalypse is here, we ladies must re-evaluate what to look for in a Mr. Right. You want to be partnered with the best man possible when zombies attack.
According to a 2009 University of Ottawa analysis, an outbreak of even slow zombies like those staggering around in Night of the Living Dead “is likely to lead to the collapse of civilization, unless it is dealt with quickly.”
The researchers found that all humans end up turned or dead.
So, that means there are few things Mr. Right will need to possess, and certain things that just aren’t needed any more in these scary times.
Here are examples of the type of man you no longer want to hook up with: Mr. Rip-Off-Investors Wallstreet, Mr. High-Priced Lawyer, Mr. Hundred-Million-Dollar-Bonus Banker, Mr. Pretty-Boy Actor, Mr. Rock Star, Mr. Got-Filthy-Rich-Inventing-Computer Software.
Those fancyass lawyer briefcases aren’t going to be much use when a zombie is munching on your intestines.
Sure, Orlando is gorgeous, but what good is he when the zombie horde is pressed against that flimsy barricade?
Mr. Right needs to be fully loaded, and I don’t mean in the man junk department. I’m taking weapons. Like this guy.
I know you’ve been grossed out by him in a previous post, but he has what you need.
I don’t know what this guy is holding, but it looks like it could kill lots of zombies. He’s a keeper.
The type of man you need now is going to be more like this:
They have lots of experience cracking skulls, like when that drug deal went bad or the witness saw everything. And–bonus–they’ve been working out daily.
Ask yourself, which group would you rather be with during a zombie attack? The group of pencil-necked pansy ass book readers shown below or the buffed-out convicted gangbangers?
That’s what I thought.
No, this isn’t one of the zombies. It’s just a wanna be, but he could pass right through a zombie horde undetected. He’s definitely a keeper. (And to think everyone gave him shit for getting that “impractical” tattoo on his face. Who’s laughing now?)
In a nutshell, ladies, it’s all about re-adjusting your “wish list” to fit the current situation. This is out: 
and this is in:
Deal with it. It’s for your own survival.
Here’s another type of guy you should go for now: His Hands Should Be Registered as Lethal Weapons.
Hahahahahaha!!! “He’s a keeper!” LOL Hilarious post… I need a guy to protect my intestines. Gangsters here I come!
Thank you for following my blog, my friend! I hope your visits in my blog have been and will always be an enjoyable experience!
I’ve been enjoying yours so please keep sharing and keep inspiring!
Subhan Zein
Thanks for stopping by! I always like to read blogs from people in other countries than America.
Carolina, the CDC has a protocol in place in the event of the zombie apocalypse. Because I care about you, I will share this with you so that you too can be prepared
http://www.cdc.gov/phpr/zombies_novella.htm
Thank God the CDC is there to advise us!
i think i love you. lol.
oh, and for the record Danny-boy is ARMED.TO.THE.TEETH.
Nice to know that my fellow constituent has an arsenal.
i have- a level action 30-30, turkey shotgun, home defense shotgun, ruger 9 mili, and AK-47. OH, and 2 bows.
I have a Toyota Camry.
Greg LOL
What’s with everyone and zombies!!?
Honestly,like 4 fellow PUA bloggers have blogged about this since yesterday,and more over the past weeks.What am I missing?
It’s that guy in Florida who ate off the face of the homeless man. He’s been called a zombie, that’s where this is all stemming from.
You are so right. The crazy gun nut dude with the gun pointed at his testicles may not be your best bet, as he will probably blow off his balls before he gets to killing zombies. All those other fat gun nut dudes will probably be okay, but consider that half of them will have heart attacks from all the bacon flowing through their veins. This is a problem if they get too excited by the zombie uprising.
Just adding some important tips.
You have a point about the gun nuts. They do look like heart attacks waiting to happen. On the other hand, they have plenty of flesh to keep hungry zombies busy, whilst you make your escape.
Currently reevaluating my priorities lol.
I think you’re right. Find someone heavily armed and make him go first.
That’s exactly my point.
Mr. Pretty Flowing Haired Rockstar isn’t going first, but those gung-ho guys in the last photo, they are ready to rumble.
Shoulda said maybe YOUR best work. It was the tears in my eyes, I swear.
Thanks, Shoe! You’re a funny guy yourself so coming from you that means a lot.
Shot you an email about sending it to a friend who runs a big national blog. Check your Yahoo account.
Maybe you’re best work. Tears in eyes.