Once the whole metrosexual thing started we’ve all been on a slippery slope. Men are starting to become women.
Used to be we could easily tell the men from the women.
See? You can totally tell this is a man. He’s hairy and he has guns.*
Men used to leave their manjunk alone, and au natural….now they’re waxed, “pejazzled” and “scrotazzled.”
The creators of Vajazzle have designed crystals for the guys called Pejazzles. For those who don’t know, Vajazzle is the words vagina and bedazzle combined. Vajazzling is where magical Swarovski crystals are glued in a cute design, like a heart, fairy or star, onto one’s newly waxed vajayjay.
One salon advertised, “Nothing says confidence like Vajazzling, since it shows you are not afraid to be different, and to be seen.”
Important Relationship Tip for the Ladies: Your man isn’t going to see your sparkly vadge and think, “Wow, she’s a maverick!” More likely, he’ll be worried it’s a choking hazard.
Once a guy has his naughty hairs
effortlessly painfully ripped out by Verushka in what’s called a “Boyzillian” wax, the Pejazzles are attached.
They come in many designs, including a manly iron cross; barb-wire to show how tough he is to other prison inmates: and a crucifix
for those who want to Pejazzle for Jesus. (Doubles as protection in event of vampire crotch attack.)
Dude, if you’re finding yourself sticking crystals on your manjunk in the shape of a frolicking dolphin–and you don’t realize you’re gay–let me assure you. You are. Gay. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.)
Like the new prom dresses which leave nothing for the high-end hookers to wear, men are leaving nothing that’s just for women. You’ve stolen our earrings, eyeliner, mani/pedis, facials, waxing, spanks, purses, and now our sparkly nether regions! Enough is enough.
*Thanks to Rubarbs for letting me
borrow steal this great pic from her hilarious blog. Was it his Match.com profile pic? That would explain the blurring; he’s protecting his reputation.