Month: May 2012


Another Bad Date Brought to You by

He looked okay in his pic, but younger than his 35 years. A marketing exec, he was born in a foreign country. He seemed “normal” in his emails. We meet in a casino. He recognizes me first, and walks up to introduce himself. I am stunned by his appearance. He was so small–and I don’t mean short–I mean tiny. He… Read More ›


My Puppy is Super Sick!!

My puppy started getting sick a few days ago, and is now super sick. : ( To my horror I discovered I had unknowingly fed him chicken treats made in China, and sold by Canyon Creek Ranch brand. On the bag it says they are an American company. On their website you are greeted with this lovely… Read More ›


The Rules are Baaaack!

The authors of The Rules have written yet another book to help us bag Mr. Right. The Rules books give strict guidelines for women to follow when dating. You are to play extra super hard-to-get by not expressing any interest in him at all. The idea is that The Rules force the man to be the… Read More ›


The Puppy Essentials

Since the last time I got a puppy was five years ago. Things have improved in the field of puppy management. Here are the life-saving puppy essentials: The Snuggle Puppy – this is a plush toy that comes with a beating heart sound maker you put inside it. No longer do you have to endure… Read More ›

But There are So Many of You!

Other bloggers have said they wouldn’t mind having an after-date survey to find out why they didn’t get asked out again. This reminded me of the one date where I would have liked to have had him fill out a survey to find out what happened. I was set up on a blind date, that was also a… Read More ›


Guys, That Stripper Isn’t Your Soul-Mate

An online guy I went out with called himself “Cool Kelly”.  A former pro baseball player, he was so obnoxiously egotistical he came across like the character Kenny Powers from Eastbound and Down. He looked like him, too. He boasted his ex-wife wrote a four page letter to Oprah suggesting that O give him an “Ex-Husband of the Year” award because… Read More ›


Robo-Butt is Less Than Asstounding

Those clever Japanese masters of robotics have done it again. Meet Robo-Butt. Or Shiri, as its creators lovingly refer to it. Described as “a buttocks humanoid robot that expresses various emotions with organic movements of the artificial muscles.” I didn’t realize we expressed emotions through our ass. Maybe this is a Japanese thing? They spent… Read More ›

Maximus Puppy

The Puppy Diet

I’ve discovered a new weight loss program! It’s super simple. There’s no calorie counting, no food portioning, no restrictions whatsoever. You can eat whatever you want, when you want.  It’s The Puppy Diet. No, you don’t eat puppies, just get one. No more lazily sitting on your burgeoning buttocks watching tv. No more idling away hours… Read More ›


Men are the New Women

Once the whole metrosexual thing started we’ve all been on a slippery slope. Men are starting to become women. Used to be we could easily tell the men from the women. See? You can totally tell this is a man. He’s hairy and he has guns.* Men used to leave their manjunk alone, and au natural….now they’re waxed,… Read More ›


7 Days Of Forced, Uneventful and Dumb Sex

There’s a new tv show called 7 Days Of Sex. Each episode follows the lives of two married-with-kids couples who have serious marital issues. In order to repair their relationship, the couples are told they must have sex every day for seven days—with each other. The women are horrified. Husband #1 tells his wife excitedly that to get… Read More ›


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