controversial relationship advice

Online Dating is a Chamber of Horrors Part I

I tried online dating. It it was one of the oddest experiences of my life.

One guy had a profile pic with his eyes sloppily scratched out in an attempt to protect his identity.

He apparently didn’t know the proper thing is to put a rectangle over one’s eyes like they do in medical textbooks. (Fixed it! So much better.)

I don’t know who he thought he was going to attract. He couldn’t be screaming any louder, “I’M A PSYCHO!!”

Then there was this guy, who had a full length photo, except his entire head was missing. (When we ladies envision our Mr. Right, it’s always head optional.)

Headless wrote me, “Notice how in shape I am.”

Me: “What I notice is you don’t have a head. What happened to it?”

Headless explained he had to remove his head because he was “an important person” a married man who didn’t want to be recognized.

He clearly hadn’t thought that one through. Was he going to meet his dates in public with a paper bag over his head?

Here’s my advice to a lot of you guys out there who want to get dates online:  you know how they tell you to “just be yourself”?

Don’t be.

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6 Responses »

  1. awsome article, funny and yet so true!

  2. What dating sites are you going to? stalkersanonymous.com ?

  3. I love ur blog, a humurous one though!

  4. Online dating is terrifying. I consider myself a seasoned veteran, and I am STILL taken aback by some of the things I have seen,

    such as: A nude full frontal with the caption, “Hung good, looking for booksmart ladie.”

    Definitely a facepalm moment.

  5. So, so true!!! Wish I had this advice when I started out!!! Could have come in handy.

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