I tried online dating. It it was one of the oddest experiences of my life.
One guy had a profile pic with his eyes sloppily scratched out in an attempt to protect his identity.
He apparently didn’t know the proper thing is to put a rectangle over one’s eyes like they do in medical textbooks. (Fixed it! So much better.)
I don’t know who he thought he was going to attract. He couldn’t be screaming any louder, “I’M A PSYCHO!!”
Then there was this guy, who had a full length photo, except his entire head was missing. (When we ladies envision our Mr. Right, it’s always head optional.)
Headless wrote me, “Notice how in shape I am.”
Me: “What I notice is you don’t have a head. What happened to it?”
Headless explained he had to remove his head because he was
“an important person” a married man who didn’t want to be recognized.
He clearly hadn’t thought that one through. Was he going to meet his dates in public with a paper bag over his head?
Here’s my advice to a lot of you guys out there who want to get dates online: you know how they tell you to “just be yourself”?