controversial relationship advice

Archive for April, 2012

Growling Rott

My WORST Nightmare Online Date from Hell Part III

The story continues as Psycho Headliner finds my address, and decides to come on over. There he stands with an enormous bouquet of red roses. We awkwardly chitty-chat for a moment. He wants to explain himself. I tell him he can come in, but my two Rottweilers will be sitting with us. I warn, “Don’t make any sudden moves. I can… Read More ›

Vic Secret Today

The Shocking Difference Between Victoria’s Secret From the 1970s And Today

I interrupt my Worst Nightmare Online Dating Story to bring you this post, because  1) it’s kind of interesting and  2) you readers demand eye candy Behold Victoria’s Secret “lingerie” from the 1970s. It looks grandma-ish, like it’s something from the 1870s. And to think guys back then were getting off to pictures like this: And… Read More ›

Bouquet of Red Roses

My WORST Nightmare Online Date from Hell Part II

I left my last online dating story dangling with the Psycho Headliner’s voice message after our horrendous SCARY date. In the message he purrs sweetly, “I had a really great time tonight…” and babbles on about how “cute” my dimples looked in the moonlight garish elevator light moments before he almost stabbed me. That was a great time? Insulting his date, acting like… Read More ›

Scary

My WORST EVER Nightmare Online Date From Hell Part I

I was living in Las Vegas. He was a headliner at a casino. He had been on Letterman and The Tonight Show. We met through Match.com.      No, it’s not Criss Angel, whose greatest magic trick is making his c**k disappear into lots of different women. We meet at the Rio. The Headliner was attractive, well-dressed, but had a nasty habit of… Read More ›

Farter4

Did Someone Just Fart?

“May/December” was a retired CFO wanting a younger woman.We meet at this trendy, hippyish restaurant where you cook your own food in the center of the table. The aroma of the place was amazing. We sit down at a cozy booth and make light conversation. I am enjoying the cooking process and savory smells when I notice… Read More ›

tommy-lee-harley

Why Women Would Rather Be With Tommy Lee Than You

It isn’t just that he’s a rocker and famous, Tommy Lee would probably get all the babes without those things. But how? ‘Cause he’s not a dork. (Not that you, dear reader, are a dork. This advice is for the other readers.) Tommy Lee is a bad boy. He’s not a “nice guy”. Oh sure, he may be nice,… Read More ›

BLD093817

Online Dating is a Chamber of Horrors Part II

As I described in an earlier post, I signed up for a couple online dating websites, and found it to be bizarre. One guy sent me a photo where he had carefully erased all around his head, leaving it disembodied and floating in a white sea of nothinginess. I guess he felt he had to protect his ID… Read More ›

Man Using Cell Phone

Face it! He’s Giving Off Clues He’s Not That Into You

A few years ago, Greg Behrendt wrote a brilliant book called “He’s Just Not That Into You” to help women figure out what was going on with men. The concepts still apply, but need updating. He’s not that into you if: 1.   He doesn’t call/text or email –  Yeah, there’s nothing going on between the two of you… Read More ›

Man standing in warehouse

His Hands Should Be Registered as Lethal Weapons

I went to a small printing company to get updated modeling cards, called zed cards. I sat down at a clerk’s desk while he scanned my photos. It was taking a long time because was scanning them at 1000 dpi. I told him not to scan that high. He insisted, bragging, “I’m the best scanner… Read More ›

Couple eating contrasting meals

Ten Painful Things Your Guy Isn’t Telling You

If your man could be brutally honest with you, this is what he would say: 1. If he had one wish it would be for you to stop talking so much 2.  He doesn’t want to watch the game with you (see reason #1) 3.  He checks out other women — all the time 4. … Read More ›

BLD093817

Online Dating is a Chamber of Horrors Part I

I tried online dating. It it was one of the oddest experiences of my life. One guy had a profile pic with his eyes sloppily scratched out in an attempt to protect his identity. He apparently didn’t know the proper thing is to put a rectangle over one’s eyes like they do in medical textbooks. (Fixed it! So much… Read More ›

stripper

What Are They??

Can you identify what these ladies are? Are they: A)  Hugh Hefner’s latest party posse B)  Strippers at a swanky high end club C)  Victoria’s Secret models showcasing the new cocktail attire It’s none of the above. These are models wearing this year’s prom fashions. Don’t ya love it? These dresses have caused a panic… Read More ›

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