controversial relationship advice

Does The Mystery Method Work to Pick Up Girls? What A Woman Thinks

Remember Mystery, The Pickup Artist? He was the straight dude with the furry black top hat, feather boa and guyliner who developed a method for picking up women.

This is Mystery doing what is called “Peacocking” or, in more common terms, wearing weird ass clothes

He had a TV show for awhile, and was featured in a highly entertaining book called “The Game” by author Neil Strauss. The book chronicled the lives of pick-up artists, including Neil and Mystery, who were all living together in one house. One hilarious passage in the book involves the always whacked-out Courtney Love.

Here’s my perspective on The Mystery Method:  it would work—even on women who are approached often and are jaded to men’s come-ons.

……but, there is one thing Mystery teaches that could backfire.

It’s the “negging.” That’s the pick up artist term for when a man says something negative to a woman about her. The intent is to throw her off her pedestal, make her feel insecure, unworthy.

Like this:  “You have quite a snaggletooth there. Do your friends call you Seahag?”

Negging might intrigue young and/or insecure women, but won’t work on women who have their act together. It will have an opposite effect.

If some strange guy walked up and start insulting me, I would be appalled at the disrespect. After verbally shredding him I would walk away quickly.

“You’re not wearing THAT are you, dear?”

If I want to be criticized I’ll call my mother.

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13 Responses »

  1. So, the gist of this is it works sometimes if the girl has low self esteem? Good to know. Thanks.

  2. Negging is a dorky word for “backhanded compliment”. Don’t be fooled by the title. A good “neg” consists of saying something ambiguous so the girl is unsure of if you approve or disapprove of her.

    For example, telling a girl you’ve met at a club, “You’re the third best dancer I’ve seen tonight.” How is she supposed to take that? Is it a compliment? An insult? Neither? Who knows? She won’t be able to tell and this disarms her.

    Good subtlety goes a long way with girls,

  3. According to the PUA community, negging is used when a woman has her “bitch shield” up. Specifically, entitled american princesses in a nightclub setting. Not sure why everyone bangs on about it so much.

    • Maybe because women don’t like it when they learn about it….

      • As far as I have seen it, it’s never an insult. How can an insult work? It doesn’t make sense. That comment guys make is super natural in regular conversations, like when you tease your friend for something (anything). The purpose of the comment should be to show your confidence, to show that you’re not intimidated by her and that you can tease her like you would on a regular friend.

        When a shy guy finds out he can tease on super cute girls, and that it’s ok (because you very cute girls are also very human girls and can laugh with a funny tease), he finds out women aren’t that hard to get. In the end its all about helping shy guys loose fear of beautiful women (dont women like it when they learn about it…?).

        Im not an english native speaker so forgive me if I wrote something the wrong way, and I hope I sent the intended message.

  4. negging is an extreme form of banter/flirting that is only meant to be used on girls who are being truly obnoxious but you want anyway. It’s been massively over emphasized because of its shock value.

    Banter/flirting is light teasing that is meant to be nice. She tests you, you show that you can handle it usually by making fun of her in a nice way. A Neg is going over the edge to mean enough that she gets it but not so mean that she can call you out on it.

    You don’t just go up to any girl that you are attracted to and neg her. You neg her when she’s being a jerk.

    If I were to approach you and we engaged in some light flirting right away, or if you were simply polite and respectful, I would never neg you. Honestly, I’ve never been in a situation where it was necessary to neg. I suspect it only matters in extremely high status clubs in places like LA where one would try to hit on models and playmates. Even in my many trips to NYC, I have never been in a situation where I found it made any sense.

    I liken to it a bit the way people who don’t know much about Poker and the entertainment industry focus on Tells. Tells are a very small part of actually playing Poker properly.

    • Neil Strauss (I think it was him) used a neg successfully to pick up a Playboy Playmate in a store.
      He walked right up to her, without knowing her, and made a crack about her teeth being crooked. He went out with her for a while.

      So, negging does work on some women, just not everyone.

  5. I didn’t know there was a word for that nonsense – negging. I just thought it was a terrible attempt at picking up women. In that case, I have been negged, and I proceeded just as you would have…

    by tearing him a new one.

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